My Murderers

I always thought it would be scary to meet a person who killed another human being. A murderer. I couldn't even imagine walking through a prison and seeing the faces of killers. But really, when I think about it, isn't that the equivalent to walking down the hallway at school or seeing the faces of your lying family and friends.

When your dad used to say, "Should you really be eating that?" or when you would overhear your mother reassuring your little sister, "Your sister is three times the size of you." When a girl at school says, "That sweaters getting a little tight, don't you think?" or an immature boy who refers to you as "plus-size." The younger boys, who don't really matter, but it's still nice to be acknowledged when they don't put you on their "hot-list." The skinny girl who calls herself fat. Your so-called 'friends' who look at you with narrowed eyes while you eat exactly the same thing they do. It's not your fault your metabolism is this slow. Which brings us back to your family. Your mom's overweight, and you know that if you don't do something, that will be your fate as well.

Aren't these people killing you? Making you tear apart your insides to keep up that image of "beautiful." These people are murdering you, and they are allowed to just walk around, free and untouched, scarless, guilt-free. Do they know that you are killing yourself, slowly and surely? But if they did, would they stop? Would they want to? Are you a murderer... every time you judge someone or call them "fat" or "stupid" or "ugly" or "worthless" you are killing them. Whether you mean to or not, that's exactly what you're doing. What would these people, the people who are killing you, say if they knew what you did? If they knew that you stuffed yourself to the point of an uncomfortable fullness and the to ease the guilt shoved a hand or a toothbrush down your throat until you see blood. These people who have you at the mercy of a porcelain god. These people are your murderers.

cheerleader1995 cheerleader1995
2 Responses Feb 23, 2009

you just sounded like me<BR>my friends says"oh you've gained weight right? " and i need to tell you that they gained more than i had <BR>and my sister tells me "are you sure you will be eating that " and is eating the same thing<BR>and my mother says "how come you are that FAT " and she is fat since ever<br />
<br />
strange right?!

Such an amazing post.... I can relate in so many ways. Thank you for sharing!