I started a new school in tenth grade and for the first time in my life I found it so hard to find meaningful company at all, I wasn't overweight but another new girl used to call me the chubby new girl which I hadn't thought about before, I slowly developed anorexia nervosa over the semester and when I slipped I purged which became full fledged bulimia nervosa and pretty violently binging and purging. For the last 7 years I've been on a sinking ship, feeling unable to be healthy, caught between starving and bulimia. I hadn't seen a dentist once in all this time. I was spending so much money on food I wanted to eat till I was sick, and I was eating and throwing up disgustingly enormous amounts of food, I knew I'd thrown up several times a day for so many years my teeth must be about to fall out. At my 21st birthday I chipped a back tooth and I decided I needed to go to the dentist. My teeth were almost totally healthy and I decided I'd been given a second chance. I've been trying to go it alone and as someone who'd never gone a full day without purging in seven years, today I've gone two weeks. I had a binge, not a huge one but still, the biggest challenge was not purging, which is why I joined this. Waiting it out, trying to be normal, for the first time in seven years, trying not to go backwards and trying not to be bulimic anymore.
zoehammo zoehammo
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

recovery is the best gift you could ever give yourself and your body. it will be really tough and you will most likely have slip-ups but this all normal recovery behaviour. you have to stay strong and think about how good a bulimia free life would be. xxx

I loved your story. Please stay strong, because I have been unable to be strong with controlling my bulimia lately and I found inspiration in your words.