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Sick & Tired of It!!!

I am a 30 year old mother of 3 boys & I have been bulimic for 9 years now & during 2 of my pregnancies.  It has gotten so out of control.  It controls me.  Its like my drug.  Its so time consuming & totally drains me.  I have been to 2 therapy groups & feel like it will never end.  I cant believe it has turned out this way.  I have a new therapist next month & I am hoping she has some new ideas & can help me.  I dont know how much longer I can live like this.
tired1977 tired1977 26-30, F 12 Responses Aug 16, 2007

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I attended a group for two months...I was the oldest one and my mother instinct kicked in. I could not be honest in that environment. I wanted to help the younger ones so Ialways painted a brighter picture that reality was. I am 48 now (I was 32 then) and still going down the same path. The thing I wonder about is "when does the need to quit over power the need to continue?" I think until then we can not truly recover. Unfortunately quitting for me is terrifying, it is the one thing that I can control. I also feel if I were to gain weight society would look at me differently. In the professional environment being thin represents (unjustified) havig it together..It is quite obvious to anyone who suffers from an ED that this impession is totally incorrect.

Its has been over a year since I made myself sick (lost control over eating) last time (8 oct 2010)... I try to remember all important things I learnt from my therapist. When I feel crap about myself (fat ugly etc) I go back to my notes. It really helps. I have faith in you guys overcoming bulimia!!!!!<br />
IT IS DOABLE!!! but it requires hell of a lot of work. <br />
<br />
I WISH I COULD HELP YOU LIKE I WAS HELPED BY SPECIALISTS :( It changed my life :)

Its has been over a year since I made myself sick (lost control over eating) last time (8 oct 2010)... I try to remember all important things I learnt from my therapist. When I feel crap about myself (fat ugly etc) I go back to my notes. It really helps. I have faith in you guys overcoming bulimia!!!!!<br />
IT IS DOABLE!!! but it requires hell of a lot of work. <br />
<br />
I WISH I COULD HELP YOU LIKE I WAS HELPED BY SPECIALISTS :( It changed my life :)

Its has been over a year since I made myself sick (lost control over eating) last time (8 oct 2010)... I try to remember all important things I learnt from my therapist. When I feel crap about myself (fat ugly etc) I go back to my notes. It really helps. I have faith in you guys overcoming bulimia!!!!!<br />
IT IS DOABLE!!! but it requires hell of a lot of work. <br />
<br />
I WISH I COULD HELP YOU LIKE I WAS HELPED BY SPECIALISTS :( It changed my life :)

Its has been over a year since I made myself sick (lost control over eating) last time (8 oct 2010)... I try to remember all important things I learnt from my therapist. When I feel crap about myself (fat ugly etc) I go back to my notes. It really helps. I have faith in you guys overcoming bulimia!!!!!<br />
IT IS DOABLE!!! but it requires hell of a lot of work. <br />
<br />
I WISH I COULD HELP YOU LIKE I WAS HELPED BY SPECIALISTS :( It changed my life :)

I have been bulimic for 8 years and anorexic for 10. I know what you are going through. I too am sick of being sick!! Try to be strong. Everyday gets a little better. Nothing is more important than your health and happiness.

* you can do it!

I was bulimic for 7years until i ended up taking part in cognitive behavioural therapy, CBT and i put everything into it. it has worked. for last 40 weeks i have been a NORMAL person with healthy approach to life.<br />
<br />
I have learnt that in order to stop being bulimic we must accept the way we look, our weight and shape and size. i know it sounds impossible now. I thought it was but it isnt. it takes hell of a lot of work but it pays off. I have learnt so much and to pass all this to you would take me months.<br />
<br />
Please go and see a help, google help lines and never give up.<br />
<br />
I promise my life now is better than ever before, better than bulimic me could ever dream off.<br />
I DONT DIET! I do regular meals, and to prevent binging i plan in all i want to eat, so then i have the control over food!<br />
if i feel liek chocolate i write it down in the morning, what time. i dont skip meals and even though sometimes I feel fat I know its only a feeling which will go away in a bit.<br />
<br />
CBT - TRY IT AND MAKE IT PRIORITY ... ITS NEVER TOO LATE :) <br />
<br />
good luck you can doing

this seems unrealistic to me, i don't think i would ever want to accept my body in the state it is now. i know i can be prettier, I know I can be thinner. if i give up and get help now, what did I waste all that time and energy to achieve? i just want to be beautiful.

i agree - take it day by day. stay positive if you can. take care of yourself :) journal, vent, go for a walk, listen to music. i haven't purged in about four years, and i remember being so proud of myself for going one day without it. good luck.

Good luck....I'm sorry you've been battling it so long. I'm 24 and I've been on and off about 2 years. I've never been to a therapist about it and I hope if I do they help me so it doesn't last so long. All the best to you! Hope the new one helps.

Just go day by day... If you can get through one day you can get through the next. E-mail me if you would like to talk. I could use a sympathetic ear as well.

I hope you can find the help you need. Good luck!