So Sick of It!

I hate feeling like this. I'm at an all time low. I am battling bulimia. It all started when I lost some weight awhile back. I got a ton of compliments and I loved how clothes started fitting. I am not a big girl by any means. I weigh between 115 and 120 right now, you'd think I'd be happy with that but I'm not. I weigh myself several times a day. I try to eat under 800 calories per day, and work out every day if I can. I recently started binge eating then purging, I weigh myself before the binge and try to get to that same weight after the purge. Sometimes I'm in a bathroom for hours trying to get everything out of me. I am so obsessed with my weight, I feel it's destroying my marriage. If I wake up in the morning and my weight is high, my mood for the day is altered. I don't want to be like this. I just wish I could be naturally thin. I am old enough to know that what I'm doing is wrong, but I'm addicted to being thin.

sickofit1 sickofit1
2 Responses Jun 3, 2009

hi dear friend <br />
<br />
I used to purge only for 3 months...then, I stopped and when I stopped, I got so ill...let me tell you what happened with me, I developed this CONTINUOUS reflux...acids jump up from my stomach to my mouth and burns like you have that ?<br />
all day long, even when I do not eat, those stomach acids come up into my esophagus...<br />
<br />
any bulimics have esophagus problems, where when they eat, the acids come up, and it hurts the chest/esophagus/ sometimes reaching up to the throat...MORE like GERD or chronic acid reflux ON daily basis? PLS save my life and help me...I am on medication but my chronic reflux is so bad, it happens even when i don't eat, the acids crawl up my esophagus; i think its due to WEAK esophagus MUSCLES due to purging...I only purged 3 months, about maximum of 20 times and - I ended up with this?<br />
<br />
anyone with such problems?<br />
<br />
help, im desperate:(<br />
save me<br />

hey, thanks for sharing your story x I understand how you feel, if you ever need to talk just mail me :) xx stay strong and take care x