So Sick of It!
I hate feeling like this. I'm at an all time low. I am battling bulimia. It all started when I lost some weight awhile back. I got a ton of compliments and I loved how clothes started fitting. I am not a big girl by any means. I weigh between 115 and 120 right now, you'd think I'd be happy with that but I'm not. I weigh myself several times a day. I try to eat under 800 calories per day, and work out every day if I can. I recently started binge eating then purging, I weigh myself before the binge and try to get to that same weight after the purge. Sometimes I'm in a bathroom for hours trying to get everything out of me. I am so obsessed with my weight, I feel it's destroying my marriage. If I wake up in the morning and my weight is high, my mood for the day is altered. I don't want to be like this. I just wish I could be naturally thin. I am old enough to know that what I'm doing is wrong, but I'm addicted to being thin.