Goodbye Bulimia

i have been bulimic for several years now, and i've never looked on blogs or anything before to read other people's stories. mostly i just googled information on the body and read health forums and whatnot. but now that i've read other stories i realize bulimia is so completely stupid and pointless. it does absolutely nothing, and we all know this, and yet we do it anyway. i can read that in some scientific definition on some anti-teen-bulimia website and totally ignore it, but actually reading it in some other bulimic's story is waay more eye-opening.

and one thing ive noticed on all of these stories is that people are just completely cool with how bulimic they are, like thats just the natural state of their lives...

soo... im going to do something different, and actually quit. who's with me? message me if you are interested in trying to diet and exercise and lose weight in a healthy way.

sabrina0418 sabrina0418
18-21, F
24 Responses Sep 26, 2009

This is what I want. This is what I had before I went bulimic about 2 yrs ago. Its not as bad as others apparently but I am definetly sooooo wanting to stop and just get back to being happy being healthy and looking healthy.

I had been struggling with this stupid thing for about 6 years. Last year I decided to quit and hadn't done it for almost 20 months! However, I did it for a few times during this month.. And now I ask myself "How was I able to live like this for years?"

Now I am writing this to tell that I realized how stupid this thing is.. So... I am in! Lets do it and beat this forever!

I wish i could stop but thing is, i dont do it on purpose! when i vomit, it comes up on its own! i would if i could!

I'm Naomi iv had bulimia for 2 months now I'm 12 years old it starred beacause I'm teased for beingr being slitly big I'm 5 foot 5 and 127 pounds I feel so fat I used to be very skinny but I begain getting fat at nine I just want to be skinny again . I watched supersize vs super skinny and it changed my life it didn't put me of the idea it made want to try it and it worked so begain binging then purging mbinging purging but now I just purge I have turned into a control freak I check every calorie I eat watch what I eat all I think about is food please don't trie this as I have tummy cramp nearly constently I have heart burn when I purge it reall hurts but I'm addicted I have not told my parents or my freinds I'm so scared I just want to be skinny please help love Naomi!!!

Finally this is the first of these stories where people arent whining. this is my first time to try out this site, and i was about to look elsewhere for some kind of positive outlook!!! <br />
Thankyou,,you hav helped more than you know.<br />

i think its the weirdest thing cos i love food i could pay a restaurant to give me food and 10-20-45(god forbid) minutes later i go and throw up thirty pounds back into the toilet. i never used to be obsessed with food but it completely infactuates me now<br />
when i binge its normal at first an towards the end ill be making the weirdest variety of food all sweet at the end of a binge. and i hate throwing up choclate aswell but it always happens. ive dont it for such a long time now i know it so well, how when youre purging its like a tiny timeline of your meal but backwards desert.... carb... vegetables. i always eat my vegetables first so theyre the ones that if i cant get rid of all of it theyll be the ones to stay.. its ridiculous. i feel like ive gone completely mad..

Yes, people get better, with and without gaining weight, but you can't get better by just thinking all you have to do is stop binging and purging. <br />
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There is a reason you do it that's psychological, whether it's a coping mechanism to reduce anxiety or like,in my case, a symbolic way of rejecting the love of all the controlling people in my life. <br />
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I won't be able to heal until I can tell my oppressive family to back off and let me make my own decisions. Just like, even if I got divorced, I'd find a new husband with the same controlling traits, the healing comes from me and no where else.

To be honest. It kind of depresses me more when I read all of these blogs. When I first started looking at these sites I was so glad there were people exactually like me. What depresses me about reading these now though is that everyone seams to have had bulemia for years upon years and is not getting rid of it anytime soon! I once found a website that people were starting to put on weight!! This total freaked me out! Has this happened to any of you guys? I honestly do want to get better, have contacted phycologists and am waiting anxiously to hear back. I have had bulemia for nearly 3 years now. It seams to be getting worse. Not long back from the dentist and had 3 very painful fillings. I am booked in next week to get these refilled because of the vomitting.

I wish everybody luck with their goals.<br />
<br />
My therapist and I are taking a different approach. She says my bulimia is a symptom of something more sinister eating me alive. So we're starting to set goals to address the real issues first.<br />
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By addressing the real issues and developing new coping skills I personally feel I have a better shot at kicking bulimia to the curb permanently without beginning a new or possibly more dangerous habit to deal with my problems.<br />
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Self analysis through writing has been a major help this past week. I'm learning more each day about triggers and exploring ways I can help myself, and setting baby goals each day. And I'm happy to say my baby goals are being met.<br />
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So if you want to how I wade through bulimia real-time, visit my blog and twitter me. My daily baby goals are under the section- Self Help in Pictures and Posts<br />
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You can find me on twiter under BulimicMom and my story, revelations, and treatment at Bulimic Mom: My Life is in the Toilet<br />
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lol-- I can't wait till I've reached the goal to change the name of my blog.<br />
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Bulimic Mom: My Life WAS in the Toilet

Hello there !<br />
I 've just read many of the posts here and I must respond....I used to be bulimic, for 15 years!, including throwing up up to 20 times per day....that is correct and not a typo.Up to 20 times a day...that's a lot. For 15 years.Bulimia interferred with EVERYTHING in my life.My God, absolutely everything. BUT I have recovered and have been recovered now for about 25 years...I feel a wee bit old but the years are there! But....they are 25 years of total recovery with no relapses , not ever.I guess I am trying to say to all of you that it can be done.Aaaand I did by myself.Although I did go to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting on the very first day of my recovery, but personally I did not really find a connection with this group.Although I did keep going for a little while, but it did not really connect with me, as I said.<br />
I did develope a method of recovering that truly did work and if you want recovery badly enough, it could work for you too.I am in the process of writing a book that will give the details of my method for recovery.Would any of you be interested in hearing about how I recovered? Would you buy a book that was real with no gimmicks or things to buy, aside from the book? It will have my actual recovery method with every detail that I ever did.<br />
I would love to help all of you and I do truly believe that I did not go through 15 years of total hell just for the heck of it.I believe I am supposed to share my recovery with others.My knowledge should be able to help someone out there! If anyone would like my email I would be happy to share how I recovered and hopefully help someone else.Please add a comment if you are interested and I will give out my email. Please excuse any spelling typos as I did not spellcheck! Cheers! and ....never give up!

I am going to pledge right here, right now, that I will not degrade my body, my intelligence, my self to bulimia, that means I will not binge so I will not purge. I gain no control from bulimia. I pledge to see myself has a healthy beautiful persons. I will not go there again.

hi<br />
<br />
i've also had ED's for about 6 years<br />
started anorexic then went on to be bulimic<br />
i'm so glad thats over now<br />
what really helped was coaching and binaural brain frequencies<br />
especially the brain freq stopped the cravings and binging<br />
<br />
send me a message or chat with me <br />
i want to help you conquer it<br />
tell me about your progress<br />
its a big step<br />
you need all the support you can use<br />
<br />
big hug<br />

Hi. I've sufferred from bulimia for 8 years and today I had the first appointment of my 3rd try at therapy. I qualify as a doctor in June and feel absolutely ridiculous for having this problem. for anyone who is recovered/ recovering, how did you do it?! I have tried antidepressants, CBT, other forms of psychotherapy, and am at a bit of a loss as to what to do... please help! xx

I'm totally with you!! It is stupid and ridiculous and has been stopping me progress for years! So here I go... I am no longer bulimic, as of today!!!!

there is sooooo many of us ;( <br />
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The more stories I read the more I realise how STUPID it is to make myself sick!!! I am going to visit this website everyday!!!! As a reminder of my stupidity.<br />
Well, I am about to ask for help and you should too guys.<br />
Last night I found a help line on national health service web page (UK helpline) and I am planning to call, but I need to write down all I want to say just in case I chicken out. I am hoping that they will recommend a good Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Hey , why not to try. It's better than being sick to the rest of my life.<br />
Fingers crossed

Am really new to this site--so not really too sure how it al works yet. But I just wanted to say that it is so refreshing to see a comment from someone that was being pro active about their disease. I too have had bulimia for almost 5 years now. I'm a university student, and apart from the fact that I make myself sick, I'm a happy, healthy person. It's so sad that this one horrible little secret is holding me back from being the person I really want to be. Sometimes, on a bad day, I will binge and purge up to 5 times. Sometimes I binge and get so tired and fall asleep because the amount of food in my stomach makes me so lathargic, plus I try to put off being sick because I hate it so much--then I will wake up a couple of hours later and force the digested bile covered food out of my system. It's a horrible, destructive disease and I am determined to begin to lead a healthy life, with a good attitude towards food and exercise. <br />
So I am definitely with you. Please get in touch and maybe we can do this together.

I've been bulimic for over 6 years now. A few years ago I promised myself not to make myself sick because I loved someone a lot. I managed not to vomit for six looooooong months ( for him and our relationship) but as soon as my 'love' left me I came back to my old dirty habits. I have been trying many times to QUIT but it just doesn't work. I am now in a very happy relationship but it is just too hard to stop. Even though my boyfriend knows about my eating disorder I still do it. I wish I just could say ENOUGH!!!<br />
Good luck !

Bulimia has been my secret for 16 years. Ok my parents knew, but ignored it. My best friend knew, but I told her I stopped doing it and yes, I told my husband the same. Why? Because it is extremely embarrasing. I don't want my husband to know I hang over the toilet when he's gone and while our kids are asleep. He has saved me from disaster. Before I met him I used to binge and puke three times a day. I would have terrible throat infections and still make myself sick. When I shared a house with other people I used to puke in a bucket, at the end of the day the 10 litre bucket would be full and the only chance I got to empty it was at 2 am. So yes, life has changed, I only relapse about once every two months, but in the meantime I don't eat much. I'm 5'7 and weigh 9 stone. A healthy weight they say on BMI calculaters, but I can see my ribcage when I suck in my tummy and it makes me feel good. My hands are always cold, that's the way I was before I became bulimic because I was anorexic first, just couldn't do it anymore going a whole week without eating, all the lying. So now I tell everyone I'm OK, but really I'm not, because bulimia is a dirty skeleton rotting in my wardrobe. It will never go away, it will always be a struggle. It has been 3 months since I last made myself sick, I guess that's something... Sorry for the long comment, this is just the first time I told anyone about my secret.

Hey your story is very similiar to my own in many ways. I too started out with anorexia and then bulimia. I have struggled with this for 12 years. I also keep it a secret because its sooo embarrasing. My parents tried to get me help initially but I faked a recovery. Everyone thinks i have recovered years ago well except for my husband. See the thing is when I get really depressed I let him know I still battle it. Its been months since I last told him I was still vomiting. Since then he thinks I stop but I havent. I can vomit up to 5-6 times a day. Right after my jaw and head are in so much pain I need to pop a pain killer and usually go o sleep. I too go to the extremes to hide it. I have thrown uo in the shower so my husband cant hear me. I have also thrown up in plastic bags, faked being sick. I am soo glad u have stopped doing it please dont go back. Living this way is not really living. I hope u keep up with the progress.

hi I've read your comment and seems you have gone through this for a while. I need some help I need to figure out if I'm bulimic. When I was 16 years old I gained an obsession to lose weight. I then did not eat and I worked out about 3 times a day I think. When I got to the point where I felt a bit better about myself and my body I began trying to eat but with out wanting I would throw it up as soon as I took the first bite. I eventually over came that and did so much better until now. I have two daughters and feel so upset about my body change. I am now 19 about to be 20 weighing 140lbs. I have been binging and purging for about 3 weeks now. I've tried to stop my self from eating like I've done before at a younger age so I don't have go go through the painful feeling of throwing up but I just can't seem to do that again now I look at food can't help myself eating it and then throwing it up this was 2 weeks ago this past week even the smallest amount of food I do eat I try to stop myself from throwing it up but after a couple hours I give in and eventually go off to throw it up. I then work out for 70 min. And then do 200 crunches a night. Now also throwing up feels like a stress reliever as well. I've never talked to anyone about this because I'm not sure I have a serious problem since I'm not throwing up every single day and I'm not at a light weight.I only throw up 2 to 3 times a week sometimes. But again I'm not sure so I'm asking you or anyone else that's takes a look at this comment to help me out and know if I am bulimic or not???

I too have been struggling with this for well over 20 yrs not as intense as some of you..I think I'vebeen to afraid. But now as a 38 yr old woman i find myself still battling this demon...and am now scared. For the first time I believe I'm suffering from some side effects.. My chest feels like there's constant pressure and I find myself coughing a lot...also after I finish a meal I'm breathless...does anyone know what this could be?? 2wks free of purging but growing more and more afraid of dying.

I would join you but I need to gain weight. I'm 185 Cm tall and 60 Kg. But not eating is bad it makes you vitamin deficient like me! I really need a B12 shot! If you can eat normally then the sensible thing to do is eat a healthy diet and get a reasonable amount of exercise and you of course are sensible enough to know this. It does help to understand food and that fibre fills you up without being very nutritious and so a diet high in fibre will help you lose weight and is healthy too. So a little research on the Internet into dietetics is worth having a go at. But an understanding of physics can help too. We use energy when we exercise and so exercise will use the energy that we get from food; rather than it being stored as fat. We also need lots of energy to keep warm and so exercising when it's cold keeps you warm and burns loads of calories! So this is my PLAN - F for fibre and F for freezing; both help you lose weight! <br />
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PS: I'm English and quite eccentric and so can think a little off-centre! LOL

I'm with you.... read my story if you like, it shows why I'm so keen to change...

hey!!!<br />
i have recovered........or am very close to saying that i am defrinitely never going back there!<br />
it feels great to not be under bulimias spell and if you want to chat im here to support you in your recovery.<br />
you are very brave to take this on!<br />

hells yeah woman!

You're really amazing for having the strength and willpower to do that.

awww honey ... i wish i could tell you that i'd do it with you, just to give you the support you need but i'd be lying if i said i was ready to take on the world without my ED. I do wish you the best of luck ! *