To All Who Think They Can't Stop (2nd Time)

 hey all of u , 

u probably remember me , i am 23 yrs old , was bulimic for 4 months  , i am in recovery now .

that's my 2 months with out throwing up ,just wanted to share my experience with u , as two months is a milestone ,

i know that recovery is hard , even if it is as an idea , because  i got used to bulimia that  I couldn't  imagine my life with out it .

i couldn't resist the food when it is coming out , it becomes automatic.

so yes i used to think that bulimia is un quitable , bulimic once bulimic always 

but u know what i had found out ?   bulimia takes over ur life ,it uses ur body to hurt,  uses ur brain to think , uses ur time to waste on Binging and Purgingi used to take so much time Binging , throwing up , cleaning throwing up remains, taking laxatives, taking multivitamis , hiding the pale face and dark circles under eyes with makeup , thinking 24 /7 about food .

in recovery i could find that i am more active to do many things (bulimia made me tired all the time)

so i go to the gym 3 times a week (help me loose weight the healthy way and for the depression due to recovery),  

i also make charity activities , preparing for master degree ,

all of those i couldn' do because i didn't have time ,because i was throwing up!

recovery makes u think again about ur life not just food , it makes u reorganize u r life ,learn from ur mistakes .

i remember praying to God to quit this disease , wondering i was always good person what wrong did i made to be punished with this ?

but actually i learnt alot from this experience about myself and othres around me . 

what i need to tell u that even if recovery is hard , depressing , painfull , worth it ,

because u worth it u deserve to live better life ,

be a happy person because u are all beautiful inside out 

 if u want any thing i am here for u :)


developer developer
1 Response Jan 31, 2010

i dont know how to cure myself.