I Have Had Bulimia For 8 Years And Didn't Realize I Had It.

I'm a 26 year old lady, who has recently discovered I have had Bulimia for 8 years and did not know it.  It was only when I mentioned to a friend that I had  watched a film that brought back memories of bad experiences from my past and at that point I needed to force myself to bring up my food or I will be ill for days.  It was then when my friend said to me that I have a problem, I couldn't accept this idea that I actually I had a problem and when she said that such actions are related to stress and linked to past experiences.  It was then when we explored the occasions I would feel like this and she was right.  From 2002 is as far back as I can recall forcing myself to be sick to ease my nerves and this went on every day for over a month until I managed to get out of the situation that made me feel sick which resulted in my above actions. As the years passed I accepted that this was the way I could make myself feel better and get control of myself to deal with stressful events in my life.

So the night I had mentioned this to my friend who acknowledged this problem, encouraged me to fight it and try not to give in.   I have never felt so weak and exhausted by keeping myself from bringing up.  I didn't know how hard this can be.  For days I have found it difficult to deal with and acknowledge my addiction to bringing up food.

I'm ready to change and gain strength and knowledge to beat this. I'm scared and worried I won't get better.

cgallagher cgallagher
26-30, F
Feb 13, 2010