It Corrupts My Soul

My mother came up to visit for the weekend because I was supposed to go see a psychiatrist. Well we were snowed in and couldn't make the appointment and had to change it to next week (I'll be going by myself). She kept saying how proud of me she was for eating so healthily, how I had not purged since she was here. I went with her everyday to the cafe to eat breakfast and every night had dinner or suggested we went out for dinner. I lied to her face. Told her I had not binged or purged since she came up here. I had. Atleast twice a day for the four days she was here. I lied straight to my mothers face, even though she is trying her best to help me. I argued with her. I caused her hell, pain, frustration. It corrupts my soul. I am a horrible person. I'm a nobody whose only comfort is food, and whose only pain is food and whose only purpose is to externalize the pain I feel. I'm disgusting.
MyWorldIntheDrain MyWorldIntheDrain
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 14, 2010

I had anorexia and bulimia, and I still battle with it everyday. One of the worst things about it, is you will hurt a lot of people including yourself. But anorexia and bulimia ; I believe, is the one of the most addicting mental disorders ever. If your ever looking for someone to confide in, I'll help you as much as I can.