La Gordita

The difficulty is not in recognising that I have a problem.  Its in seeing that the situation is bad enough that something should be done about it.  My situation is not as bad I think.  I only get rid of the excess I eat each day, so I still managed to digest the nutrients my body needs, right?  The lack of control though...I am addicted to sweets and unhealthy things.  When I am unable to control myself, I over-indulge.  But our bodies are meant to have those things.  Soy gordita and it is simply not acceptable for me to eat like that.  It has to leave.  

I am only ten pounds overweight, but I have had strangers call me fat to my face before.  I am not a rude person (or at least I try my best to be nice to everybody), so they must be telling the truth.  I used to think I was pretty, but in today's society, it is impossible to be pretty and overweight.  My confidence cannot last against an onslaught of negative comments, looks, and rejections.   I have never had a boyfriend because of my own issues, and nadie me interesa asi.  I can see on people's faces as I grow older and gain weight, the surprise, quickly masked by a benign smile.  This January I made myself purge for the first time since the tenth grade.  The only difference is that in the tenth grade I purged so that I had evidence to show my mom that I was 'sick' and was unable to attend school.  I am not sure what is going to happen in the future, I just know that I need to lose the weight, and if this is the only path that will get me there, then I must take it.



 I am not acceptable to myself. 

millironster millironster
4 Responses Mar 10, 2010

this is a terrible way to solve your problems, you might really damage your body. I too am overweight, and receive negative comments because of this, my sex life with my parnter is practically non exsistant due to this however i am trying to control my weight through watching what i am eating and halving my portions, it is less dangerous.

If you honestly believe that this disease is a credible solution to your weight insecurities, get help now. Get help for what needs to change for the better in your life so you can learn and grow into a stronger person. DO NOT IGNORE THIS WARNING: once you have an eating disorder, as with any other dangerous addiction, it IS with you for life. It absolutely breaks my heart to read "If it is the only path that will get me there, then I must take it." Take it form a relapsee. It has consumed my youth and now I need to relearn to cope as an adult. Get over the idea so that you don't have to go through hell.

I have had bulimia for 7 years and I am 19,,, trust me its not the right path to go down. ITS NOT WORTH IT !! you end up gaining weight in the end, and it's so hard to ditch it when you want to. It consumes your life, your thoughts, and you end up missing out on so much because of it. I wish that I never started. I would much rather have been fat then to live the way i have been living the past seven years.

my Bulimia started in 7th grade i am 24 now with 2 children trying desprately to stop dont start this please!