My Story

Well i always had a strong sweet tooth, which is never good. i was never really overwight, but i still thought i was too fat. i considered myself fat if i felt i wouldnt look good in a bikini or look like the girls on t.v.  it all started when i was 14 with anorexia. i ate 1000 calories or less, which is only half of what the average person should eat.  but i started feeling weak, so i stopped and decided that i should just eat normally and exercise more. i have a treadmill and a trampoline that i usually exercise on. they were my life, and if they broke i would be screwed because they were the only thing that kept my weight constant with all the sweats i ate. but when they both broke, i decided for myself that the only option was to throw up my food. from then on my bulimia was on again off again. well i started for a few weeks of throwing up. but my parents started smelling the scent of puke in the bathroom of where i threw up in the toilet. it got to the point where my dad pinned me to the ground and pushed his arm to my neck (basically choking me - he is a bad achoholic and i guess he drank too much that night) and threatended to quit his job to watch me so i wouldnt throw up anymore. thats the first time i stopped. but then he moved out and i started again.  i didnt throw up every day, just a few days a week. at that point it wasnt that bad. but then one day i decided i would make some cupcakes and eat most of the batter. of course i had to throw this up, but then my mom smelled the scent in the toilet where i puked and got mad and called my dad and told him. that *** hole didnt do anything cause he didnt live with me anymore but my mom was still dissappointed in me. from then i think i stopped. i started again after that, probably feeling fat would be the reason.,,, then i would stop cause of a  bad pain in my throat... then i would start again once that pain stopped...i figured that nobody would smell the scent of my puke in the toilet if i puked when i took a shower.and now noone noitices anymore. its so much easier then starving myself, because you eat whatever you want and more, then you just throw it up later. its that easy, but i still feel kinda guilty cause i know its extremely unhealthy. my new years resoultion was to stop binging and purging, but i started again in late feburary. i havnt stopped since, but now i binge and purge daily. im now fifeteen going on 16 in a few months. many people say im too pretty and i dont look fat but i dont give a **** about that i do feel fat. its all in my stomach and i have love handles, i hate it. people think i have it together cause im successful, on the basketball team, and am a very nice person, but honestly im just a wreck and moody.   anyways from my purgiing my teeth feel like ****, im constanly thirsty, and i get  constipated a lot. its gotten harder for me to purge now, cause i think overtime i lost my gag reflex or something. i know i can stop this addiction if i set my mind to it, i want to stop tomorrow for good. well thats my story

P.S. sometimes when i would purge i felt a horrible hard pain like where my heart is in the chest area. this was rare but when i felt it, it was bad and real. has anyone else experienced this pain.

yobri7 yobri7
13-15, F
1 Response Mar 15, 2010

I never got chest pain but i had bulimia for about 6 months or more! it will start to take comtrolof your life so i urge tyou to please get help!! im also 15 and turning 16 in two months.Ive suffereed from many of the consequences of this and its horrible! if you dont catch this soon it will only get worse! please please get help! were too young to throw are life away cause i can almost garentee i prob would have been in a hostpital or dead right now if i wouldnt have stopped. this is a serious problem. your beatiful and you need to feel that way. i really do understand its a hard process to go through and im still doing counseling for it so i dont think about it. but really if you dont want a counseler and if you dont have anyone to talk to you can message me on here or just ask me for my email because i'd really like to help you.