Wookie In The Shower

So I'm washing my hair and I notice a lot of hair washing down to the hair trap in the tub. I pull my hands away and there's a wookie in both hands. It took a couple weeks, but finally the hairs have started their escape.

Losing one's hair is an assault on one's self-image. It's hard enough to convince ourselves that we can be healthy and survive this disease, but the hair loss thing is a blow to that self-image. It makes you feel sick to see that. You start seeing yourself as a sick cancer patient.  That's a self-defeating spiral.  The merciful part is that I cut my hair short a couple weeks ago, so it's not noticeable.  It looks like it's falling out evenly, which is a blessing.  But after the next cycle of chemo, I may go Kojak (who loves ya', baby?).

On other news, I'm regaining my breath and stamina.  The left leg, where they took the tumor out of, I now realise is a lot weaker than I thought it was.  I know they took out a wide negative margin, but holy crap, I can barely curl my leg up if I lie flat on my stomach. So I've started trying to use my leg as much as possible, but it's taking a while.  How am I supposed to stay active when I can barely walk faster than a snail? :-)
IFeelSick IFeelSick
41-45, M
1 Response Sep 5, 2012

I've had chemo too, the hair loss is something which haunted me in my lead up to starting chemo. I was very fortunate. Despite being told that I would loose all my hair within 10 days of my first chemo, I managed to hold on to enough hair that I didn't have to wear the wig I had bought.

My hair looked absolutely awful, and I had previously always loved my hair, but there was just enough for me to feel okay.

Loosing your hair is most definitely an assault on your confidence. Mine took about 4 months to stop falling out in handfuls, and then about another 6-7 months before I could really feel and see that it was growing back.

Have you been warned about "chemo curls"? It seems that a high number of people end up with curls when their hair first grows back.

I now have gorgeous curls (which I didn't have prior to chemo), and it seems they are going to stay with me, which I'm loving. However, the thing I wasn't told, was that chemo can also change your hair colour ... so I'm no longer a natural blonde, I have BROWN hair. Damn!!! But I'm alive and I have curls, so I'm focussing on the positive.

Best wishes on your journey. I always refer to it as a rollercoaster ... one minute you're up a little and the next minute you're down. Take care!