Shaving The Head: Going Kojak

When I woke up this morning, the hair loss had become uneven. My hair looked like I was sick.  I finally sucked it up and got it shaved.  The barber was telling me it will grow back after the chemo, and it might come back even better than before.

But still, I don't feel like me anymore.  I don't like looking in the mirror because it doesn't look like me anymore.  I defined myself by my thick, luxurious black hair, but it's gone now.  It's hard to look at it because it reminds me I am sick and I have cancer.

But I think I'll get used to it in a couple days.  On the positive side, washing my hair tonight was simple: a face cloth and soap. :-)  Also, with sunglasses, I do look a little like a bad ***.  Who limps clumsily.

Changing the way I think about this will be hard, but probably worth it.

"When you disagree with the world, learn to agree with the world."
IFeelSick IFeelSick
41-45, M
1 Response Sep 7, 2012

RIght on my brutha!! I actually kind of looked forward to losing my hair 4.5 yrs ago when I went thru my first transplant. I don't really want sympathy, but I sorta want people to know that there is this disease that doesn't show itself on the outside. I look normal and healthy from the outside, and if you met me on the street you would never know I am battling bone cancer for the last 5 years. It's hard to explain. Losing my goatee was more difficult than than my head hair. Also, strangely, I did not loose my eyebrows.
And when my hair came back, it was curly and wavy. It was supposed to only be like that for a few months. But, danged if it isn't still curly when I grow it long. Not black man afro, but definitely wavy and yes, curly.
When I had to wear a mask I would draw lion mouths or big smiley faces on them, and they almost always got positive remarks. In my crazy little head, I wanted to make a t-shirt for the people that were afraid of me as a 'cancer patient' that said, "I am not contagious, BUT you are!" But I didn't,, but it is pretty good, you got to admit, right?
Hang in there balding. I used to go in my backyard with a fresh razor, always very fresh razor, and spread shaving cream all over my head and have fun dawning the Telly Savalis.
Peace brutha,