Fat

I was 12......the pressure was on girls were 115 and I was like 130 pounds!!!! I went home.....in my closet took out my blade and cut out my first word "FAT" I didn't really cut on my stomach so It was a weird experience I felt absolutely nothing. Just seeing the blood come out. I did this because I promise myself I would starve my self not completely but I wouldn't eat. I failed by lunch time.... -_- I know I'm pathetic but the word I carved made me feel like I can't lose weight but I can lose blood! I'm still fat still ugly still living.....I know I have to purpose to live but this is my story of my first word I carved. I had just started cutting then too. I have around ten cuts 7 in my legs 3 in my arms... Then I added 3 to my stomach and then I carved the word fat. I have no purpose to live I'm worthless. Back then I didn't bleed as much because I cut lightly. No one knows my secret....but shh this is between you and me. If you want to cut please don't I regret cutting but it's a addiction. It all started with a scratch....maybe one day I'll commit suicide but I know that you shouldn't unlike you I have no purpose on earth.................
Kittykatkuts Kittykatkuts
13-15
1 Response Dec 13, 2012

Dont give up on yourself. u r worth more than u believe!