50 Years Of Cp

Been living with CP for over 50 years now. Primary impact is from the left hip down although the entire left side of my body has been influenced. Primary is I have zero muscle control from below the knee, impacted muscle growth although not acute other places. I have had 3 procedures, 1 when I was 2 or so by a witch doctor who's result left me minus my heal on my left foot along with 2 heal cord procedures which did help with the tippy toe walk.

My parents did not head the advice of the church and put me in a state hospital at the age of 3 to spend my life. The witch doctor I hope is also roasting hot dogs for eternity. Yes, i am bitter as I am reminded every day I go in public about the perception of those not deemed normal by society. I am considered getting a tattoo on the bad leg saying cerebral palsy so people will have their answer and move the stares else ware.

have I let it get me down? Yes, it starts when you start having feelings about self and the perception of what people might think of you, for me about 6th grade. Before that I didn't have a clue except for the brace I wore nightly. I used to get picked on in school, mainly from the girls, being a fairly strong kid the boys didn't seem to mess with me much, I couldn't catch them but when I did I could hold my own. The girls would always knock books out my hands, push me on the stairs, stupid stuff. When I moved to a nice burbs neighborhood I met some cool kids, older high school kids as I was wandering the neighborhood...they turned me on to pot, not in a mean way at all, they embraced me and I found out they had siblings my age and introduced me to them and it became a great party, the pot would ease the mental pain, improve (so I thought) my walk. Now I didn't become a pot head, I drank too! My high school years where mixed with athletics (I was the kid who played football but no one wrote about back then), music and was a OK student in between the parties and fun. HS was a good time, I got along with the jocks, greasers and everyone in between, there where clicks but most of us seemed accepting of anyone. Sure I had a few CP run-ins during that time but it was more adults, people doubting my ability to be productive in the real world. No one stopped to pick me up or drive me home the 2 miles in the rain, snow etc when I pushed carts at the super market, did I bite?

College was a new chapter, met some great people and then the real introduction into clicks and more doubters. Parties where mixed as a lot of ladies didn't think much of me, sure they would talk etc but it was more just because they wanted something like a ride, a beer or a in to the next frat party. Again I used to walk from one end of campus to the other, good student, not great i.e. the party scene but took more credits than most and learned to fly a plane while I was at it. Professional pilot dreams came to a crashing halt when i found out most doctors wouldn't look at me for a first class physical...and the navy recruiter just nodded her head no when she saw me walking up the hallway. I wanted to fly fighters off the deck, I was ready...shot down before I could even start. Off to work I went.

Didn't take long when life was in real world mode. Walking in for interviews in a suit and being rejected for intro level jobs in 1979 because back then, "people like you don't work", unless it's one of those handicapped work centers. Bull, finally landed some less than exciting production control work, during this time i found drinking to be more fun than drugs and from now until today drink every day. I am a alcoholic by any clinic definition but it's all I got to keep me sane. I've over time married to a nice lady who puts up with me, not that I'm nasty, I'm actually a pretty level headed guy, but when it's down time it's social hour, I've had a couple of good kids. Over the years the wife has grown to see me as a problem, why, because I'm not mobile and handy like the other guys. She is having doubts and disappointments as to why I didn't do things with our kids that others have, ski trips for example, I can't ski on a bet, so I'm a disappointment.

Work, we all have bills to pay. For awhile all seemed good, had a few setbacks not of my own doing, company closed it's door, lost the job during a bad economy in the 90's, tried my own business, failed and went back into the real world. I was getting back on my feet, doing a lot of technology contract work in the greater NYC area. Pay was good, most people OK, things moving on. Then I got a couple of work shockers when I got a spot in Atlanta, phone interview, i was it! Come on down, by the end of the 4th day they fired me. Was it because of something I did, no, said, no, hmmmm, my look?! Not to far from that I got a spot in Florida, didn't last overnight there. Same thing, phone call, your hired, showed up suit and tie ready for work, met with a couple of people in the morning, a peer took me out to lunch, I was supposed to meet a handful of people in the afternoon, stayed till 6pm no where to be found. Sitting in a restaurant at 8pm I get a call, go home. What! even a suit and tie doesn't make up for CP in their eyes. Just a note of fact, I took both companies to their states employment depts and won both times, didn't get rich, wasn't the purpose, I wanted to nail them, the companies and the people to the wall for what they did. You see why scotch is a good thing, especially served this way?

For those of you who are younger, trying to find your ways, keep it between the lines and when you do take out side, make sure it's with someone you can trust with your life, yourself. For no matter how hard you try, how much you dedicate yourself you will always be looked at with a disability in the eyes of all. get used to it, find a crutch, it's OK. Drop dome of the preconceived notions and live your life. I have taken up some destructive habits such as booze and sex, can you believe that, over the last 10 years I've had some of the best sex ever, most of it outside the house but now I know there are people who don't care about my CP. they care about the moment, some friendships, some spice but you need to find happiness in whatever form it is. In a simple phrase "go for it". Just don't hurt anyone if you can help it.
robsexcite robsexcite
51-55
Dec 12, 2012