Mild, But Still There..Hi everyone. I've thought about how to write my story for ages. I'll just say what I know.
I have cerebral palsy. I was born 2 months early and there were several complications with the birth. I spent another 2 months in the hospital after that. I was diagnosed as a baby because I wasn't crawling. I was "daddy's little worm". I went to a neuromuscular disabilities preschool. I received physical therapy at least once a week until high school. Then I was told it wasn't helping anymore. When I was 6 I had surgery heel cord lengthening because I was walking on my toes, which helped a lot! I remember having to wear leg braces on both legs until I was 11 or so.
My mind is very fuzzy on my condition. No one pays attention to their doctors appointments when they're a kid... and I can't ask my parents about anything regarding my cp. My mom died a couple years ago, and my dad refuses to admit I have or have had any problems because it is a bad reflection on him. Therefore I don't know what KIND of cp I have. Here's what I do know. My cp is very mild, it was more of a problem when I was a kid. It mainly affects my balance and coordination and fine motor skills. So don't ask me to climb a ladder, carry heavy boxes, go roller skating, climb the stairs without a rail, or write out an important document. LOL.. I fall a lot, but I do walk unaided with a limp which gets worse some days, and not others. I was spared any lasting intellectual problems. I did have special tutoring in grade school though. I couldn't seem to grasp some things. Overall I'm very very lucky. I don't see myself as disabled but wonder if some things are "normal". Hardly anyone notices or says anything, except they do sometimes ask if I hurt my legs.
I'm going to ramble....
In school I was known as "brain damage". Not quite "disabled enough" to leave alone or feel too guilty to pick on, just enough to torture. I grew up in a snowy place. Ice isn't my friend, so my mom put me on the "special bus" to go to school. I would be picked up at my door, and not have to walk the 6 blocks to the bus stop. Didn't help matters. Why is it when you're disabled people assume that you're incapable of thinking for or doing anything yourself,? I wasn't allowed off the bus until a parent came to get me, or even buckle my seatbelt by myself. I was trapped! I came home everyday in tears from being called "retarded" among other things and having things thrown at me from being on that bus. Kids are mean. Eventually I was able to convince my parents that I was ok to walk to the regular bus stop with the help of a friend. The friend didn't hold up his end of the bargain, but I never told my parents that. I just got lots of battle scars! lol.. I didn't care if it took me 45 mins to walk those 6 blocks in the snow, I was going to do it! And I did, eventhough I did fall sometimes and got stuck in the snow until someone walked by... lol
I remember... after my surgery I came back to school using a walker and in casts. The kids would steal my walker and push me down at recess. Instead of getting upset, I would laugh, and attempt to pick myself up in any means I could because I refused to accept help. I was a strange child. lol...
Now adays I'm good, but put up with a lot of pain. I'm looking for a job and have a mostly normal life.Anyway... that's enough rambling. This is embarassing, but...I have so many questions that I don't know who to ask.
- My balance and coordination seem to be getting worse in the past 2 years. Is this normal?
- Does anyone else experience PAIN, a lot? Like severe hip pain when walking.. and.. It feels like my muscles are constantly tense to the point of pain and nothing I do can release them, also my joints ache, like what I imagine arthritis to be like, but I'm only 22.
- Does anyone have any vision problems because of their cp? or is that a seperate thing entirely?
- I feel stupid asking questions like this, but who else do I ask?
- What does everyone else do to excercise?
- Do you admit your disability in job interviews? Should I?
Thanks for listening!
ambience 22-25, F 41 Responses 7 Jun 15, 2010