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I Was Diagnosed Yesterday...

I've been dealing with my physical disabilities from birth and I have learned to live with the scrutiny and the mockery from other kids my age. I hide my pain from everyone. I never let anyone see how much my disabilities affect me, though bouts of depression has been a commonality in my life, which is sick considering how young I am…

I was diagnosed yesterday with cerebral palsy... I'm not really sure what to say. I'm very scared and angry and sick. I keep thinking "It's not fair!" and I’ve shut myself in my room and I’ve spent most of that time crying. I don't want anyone to know that there's even more wrong with me. My parents are ignoring it. They won't talk to me. I feel like I've failed them. I'm so alone and scared. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't have anyone to talk to.

I don't understand why this has happened to me! What did I do wrong? Why does the world want me to suffer more? I'm so alone! I wish I had at least one friend to talk to! But I don’t even have that.

immortalofwisdom immortalofwisdom 16-17 6 Responses Mar 11, 2009

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Oh my God..... Tears on my end over here I am 32 and am still trying to figure out if I have CP or Not. Aside from that You did nothing wrong and It's your parents that failed you not the other way around sweetie. It'll take time to adjust to this blow but CP is not something to be afraid of.

i had just written one for cp havin feelings much as you, however like i said we need to feel proud and it should help you to understand and within that understanding you'll be able to make improvements. i know exactly what its like children are cruel but it doesn't last forever. you won't get worse, you can only get better. please don't feel sad, i work with ld and alot have cp and i realise that i am alot better off than most people and i feel greatfull. now you've had a diagnosis you will sore and get help from professionals such as a phsyiotherapist, i stopped seeing mine once i'd turned 16 because my walking improved and so will yours. you found out yesterday about your cp but its always been there, now you can look up and move forward. good luck it takes time :) xxx

For what it's worth, the diagnosis from yesterday doesn't change a thing. You've had CP all your life, and it sounds to me like you are managing. At least now you have a name for "it".<br />
<br>Stick with friends like TRW and ohmercyme, they know what they're talking about and can tell you about being able to run down hills, feeling totally carefree.<br><br />
It's not your job to make other people comfortable with your CP, it is for THEM to accept it or lump it. TRW has mastered the art of torturing people who don't "get it". I wish you all the best, I really do.<br><br />
One of my heroes is a lady with CP who has two olympic medals for equestrian events, I have mentioned her so many times that it feels weird typing her name again, but I think that TRW might be able to point you to her story.<br><br />
<br><br />
Take care,<br><br />
Much love,<br><br />
Andrew

i'm still battling the same issues you are with cp. feel free to vent out frustration with me. i'll have a go at it whenever your ready! ;^)

There are wonderful people here on EP who are here to listen to your fears and perhaps lighten your spirit! :-)

I'm here... don't be afraid. I'm 31 and was diagnosed at 18 months...we are strong ones. Anyone judging or shutting you out is ignorant. Your parents will wake up and realise it doesn't change who you are.