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Teen With Cerebral Palsy

Hi, I'm Tess. I'm 17 and have CP. I use an electric wheelchair but I can walk with support. I can't use my hands very well and a have a speech problem. I'm currently in year 12 and I'm doing it over 2 years because of the workload. I'm not too sure whether I want to go to university or not but everybody says I wouldn't get a job without some kind of qualification because of my disability. That's probably true.

The reason I have Cerebral Palsy is because my Dad belted up my Mum when she was pregnant with me. They split up when I was little. I've had many issues with my Dad over the years. He's just not a very nice person. He wouldn't even come to my year 10 graduation because of "religeous reasons." Bunch of crap. But I guess at the end of the day the root of our problems is that I resent him for making me live with this disability.

My Mum definitely makes up for him though. She's the best. I honestly can't live without her. I often tell her that  when she dies, I'm coming right behind her. "Even if you're happily married with children?" she says. "Yep!"

Boys. I've always been boy-mad. Trouble is they're not so mad about me. I can't say I blame them though. Who would want to date a girl who dribbles and can't talk properly? Well apparently my boyfriend does. But that's because he has Asperger's Syndrome which is a mild form of Autism. He'd probably date anybody that wants him. I'm kind of the same. I used to really love him, but we've both changed and I'm in love with who he used to be. I'm just tooscared not to have anybody. I want to get married and have children young and I'm scared that if I let go of Jeremy, I'll never get that chance.

I'd love to meet other people in a similar situation as me. Feel free to message me or add me as a friend.

:)

amytess amytess 18-21 13 Responses Mar 2, 2010

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hey this is Angel Lucas from Los Angeles Ca and I am interested in your friendship. I am 15 years old and I want to know you as a friend.

Hello Tess,



Wish I was 17, but I'm a 56-year-old dad of a 19-year-old teenager! I admire your attitude. You're so logical, and I really admire that. Guess because I'm a police officer, and wish more people thought like you (lol)!



Sorry to hear about your dad. Domestic violence is a terrible thing, and I'm sorry your injury was a result of violence directed at your mom by your dad.

It's OK to be angry with him. I am, and I don't know you!



I have a suggestion. Have you and Jeremy discussed your relationship. People do change, i.e., want different things, etc., but sometimes talking about what's important to you both, will sometimes make things right. That's what I tell my daughter, Taylor. Sometimes she actually listens (lol)!



Before I close, I'm so happy to hear your mom is there for you. Moms are special like that you know! Good luck with everything, and don't be so sure college is not in your future. Sorry, but that's the dad in me speaking!



Take care of yourself, and stay safe.



-John

many friends that have it and yes i even dated a young lady with it but she had issues and fears of me being normal and she had resenment issues to towards her sister



i miss here but she made thr choice to move back by her mother and in to a group home



she wanted to be reg so bad and she could not excpet her illness which is sad she was so bright but would not use her PRC device to talk she wanted other to understand her

Hi Tess thanks for sharing I also use an electric wheelchair and have speech problems it would be cool to chat sometime.

Hi Tess we as 6th graders found your story very inspirational and meaningful! We are doing a project on high schoolers with cerebral palsy and we thought yours was the best!

Hi Tess. I'm 14 and I have CP. I don't have it as bad as you do, as I can walk entirely on my own and speak with no issue. But my balance is off, and I have scars on my legs from surgeries I have had. When I wear short shorts, boys look at me differently because they can finally see who I am. They see my scars, and I don't know that they will ever look past that. I don't know if I'll ever find any boy who wants to date a girl with ugly scars up and down her thighs, a weird walk, and lots of emotional baggage.



I am angry at the world, Tess, and I'm angry at myself. I feel if I pushed harder when I stretched, worked harder, and didn't let anybody get to me, I'd get rid of my inner demons. But I haven't, and that's my fault. I'm angry at God, and I'm angry at the boys who don't give me a second glance because I can't run and I walk funny.



I hope I find a guy like you did, who excepts me for who I am despite my disability.





--Maggie

Hi everyone, just thought I'd let u know I broke up with Jeremy a few weeks ago and have since found another guy with Cerebral Palsy. While we're taking it slowly, he treats me like a princess and makes me very, very happy! I really think it might turn into something serious in the future :)

I am tesses friend and she is sooo awsome she is the best girl and she is so inspirational and anyone with CP can do anything she is sooo great she is funny and seriously smart anyone with CP can acheive what ever they want....

hi tess.



i am 16 and i have cp. i am just like you but i can walk. i found a guy like jeremy. he dumped me for nashvile. so on..so on with life... girls like us have to stick together huh? i know everything will be ok you should too. i have the same dreams as you

Thanks guys. Those comments were really touching and helpful.

You're awesome, and I'm thankful that the internet gives people with CP an outlet to express themselves fluently, as opposed to the challenges presented often with speaking. I used to volunteer in an equine therapy program, and worked with children and adults with cerebral palsy. I also went to highschool with a young man who had muscular dystrophy. He died at the end of his senior year, but let me tell you, his life was full of love as I am sure yours has been and will continue to be. True friends are hard to find no matter who you are, but when you surround yourself with people who love you, nothing that comes in life will be overwhelming. I too am in a relationship that I would like to become permanent, so let me say you must weigh your priorities wisely, and deeply contemplate decisions that affect your future. Also remember that not acting is still a deliberate choice. Is this man someone who you foresee becoming a strong adult and father? Do you believe he will stand by your side as a faithful husband? With time, you will know the answers to these questions and if you doubt, have faith that life will bring someone into your circle. You never know whose world you ignite with your smile!

Hey Tess,



Thanks for the story. I wouldn't let the dating get to you. I'm a guy with CP . I have dated some but I don't have the girls chasing me down either:) I will tell you though that I really think there is someone for everyone. I agree with Rinaz, if you like Jeremy then talk to him and work through whatever changes are causing issues. If you don't think hes the one for you though then you should keep looking because life's just to short to be unhappy.



I'm sorry your dad hasn't really been apart of your life. I'm sure that has been tough but I'm really glad that your able to have such a great relationship with your Mum.



Please email if you want to chat or just need a guy's view on dating. I'm not sure how much I can help but I'll be glad to try and help all I can.

Tess, first let me tell you that I'm proud of you. My little 2 year old girl has CP and I am still wondering what will become of her, but I know one thing, you are all miracles and fighters and stronger than any of us! You handle life better than any of us and you are really something.Your worries are just normal worries of every girl in the world, I was pretty, I was smart and very popular but I always wondered if I'll ever get married and have childern of my own etc etc (the regular girl worries). I wanted to get married young and I wanted the age difference between my kids and myself not to be huge, but I married at 29 and had my daughter at 31!Jeremy is just another fighter that's why he can see through you and appreciate you. Talk to him if he has changed and talk to him if you have changed. Look for another relationship if you're not happy and look forever if you don't feel yours is right because it's better to be single than to be stuck in a bad marriage, with kids, for the rest of your challenging life.

My sister has CP