Center Of Attention

i have 2 children = one born in 1999 and the other in 2008. They are 9 years apart, and they are both used to getting ALL the attention of course. My oldest is going through adolescence as i write this, and his attitude is out of control at times. he has adhd, which he takes meds for. we had him diagnosed when he was in first grade, and having a rough time with the teacher, sitting still and paying much attention. i feel that the teacher still couldn't handle him, so he was at the principal's office alot. nowadays tho, he is more interested in playing online, facebook or the tv. he has no time at all for his brother at all. we used to have him in tae kwon do, and he was almost up to his black belt, when he suddenly decided he was done with it. no more. we were surprised of course, him being so close to the end of his training anyway. but we didn't force him to finish up. that's when you get resentment. but that was when he was still in elementary school. we can't get him interested in any other physical activity, besides occasionally playing basketball and going for bike rides with his friends. he went on a bike trip for a week this summer with his aunt. he had a great time. there were kids his age, and we could tell when he got back, he had done alot of 'growing up' on the bike trip. he is interested in going next summer to Colorado with her, on another bike trip. but we shall see. he did enjoy himself, and it was a physical activity.
his brother on the other hand: he is 4 years old now, and in flag football against daddy's wishes. he is the youngest on the team, but seems to be picking up the principal of it slowly. you know the old cliche - monkey see monkey do. when he sees the way the other boys pay attention and listen, then he will also.
my husband is never home. he works shift work, so i don't know his schedule til the week before. and he's taking 3...count em = 3 classes this semester in what he really wants to do. he hates his job, so he calls and vents to me. luckily i have a day job i love. BUT! that leaves me home with the kids most all day. to get them showers, to help my oldest on homework, makes lunches, feed em, and all of that. i barely get any time for me. me. me.

and when he is home he is working on his homework, or veg-ing out, or asleep. which doesn't help me inthe least. i get frustrated and annoyed, which my meds aren't helping with much. but my friend from work said that i need to 'flip the script' and be more assertive. i need to tell him how i feel. take the risk, he's my husband anyhow. he's set in his ways i'm afraid and won't compromise i'm afraid.
i am afraid of confrontation. yet the more i confront people at work, the more comfortable i feel. but, can i do the same thing when it comes to my homelife? why am i so afraid to get into a heated argument with my husband? if that's what it comes down to? its not gonna go away, when i don't think about it. nothing does. i should know that from experience.
because i know exactly what will happen - i get even more depressed when i think about it, much less be confident enough to actually confront my husband.
ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh-ugh...blah-blah-blah
strangerinacrowd strangerinacrowd
31-35, F
Sep 12, 2012