Pain=no SleepGood morning,
Up early this morning 2 a.m. would rather be in that state of sleep that takes the pain away, but tonight has not been one of those nights.
Sometimes the pain in this ole body is just to much to bare. And tonight is a tough one, I would scream but it won't do any good. Last week I got so bad I went to the ER for a shot. The doctor came and started telling all this stuff about so many chronic things going on... I stopped him I said doc I know what is wrong and I know nothing is gonna help but I am begging for some relief please I can't take it.
He said, I can do that so he gave me shots of morphine, didn't stop the pain but gave me some relief for a little while.
I start a series of shots in my spine in two weeks, I hope they help, they say I will never be well enough to go back to work, I think I am accepting that maybe I am accepting that fact, hard one to swallow really because work is all I have ever known.
I don't know where I will go from here, I really don't have a lot of hope and dreams are shattered.
I went on an outing with the grandbabies, my son-in-law pushed me around in that rolling chair like it was nothing. For a little while I felt like me again.
I have been told to not let the pain control me, but for me to control the pain. People who say that don't have this kind of pain. They don't know what it is to hurt all the time. I have to stop thinking and talking about it I guess, but its hard to be in this much pain, alone.