Living and Dying With Chronic Pancreatitis

I have pancreatitis, diabetis, splenic vein thrombosis, GI varisis and all the gooodies that come with a failing pancrease.  I try to avoid the doctor but realisticly you can't.  This week I'm going for tests for tumor hunting.  Those of you with last stage pancreatitis know what I am talking about. I want to live, but can't wait to die.  There is know way out of this.  You can't make plans because you don't know if your body is up to it. I am 48 yrs old.  My uncle died of this as my cousin did at the age of 48. When your this sick you tend to isolate because you don't know what is going to happen next.  They are not going to operate on me anymore.  I choose quality not  hospitarity.

Thank you for reading this.

ticktockontheclock ticktockontheclock
14 Responses Jul 20, 2009

Thank you for your post, I ended up with acute pancreatitis after a mistake made by a doctor during a procedure called an ERCP that went bad. Since then for the last 4 years I've dealt with chronic pancreatitis, the most difficult part of this is having friends and family understand that although you may look OK, in fact you are in pain on a daily basis. There are days I pray to die, and others where I can maintain a daily routine. I spend most days just looking forward to being able to go to sleep. What a life, right? Reading these replies to your post has given me some peace to know there are others out there who understand and feel the way I feel, I pray that anyone dealing with this disease can find some peace and comfort in knowing that the day will come when we will leave this pain behind us.

I too have had this going on in my life but it is still early on. It was good reading what you have written concerning the mixture of feelings with the painful facts and issues surrounding this killer disease. Accepting one's fate is difficult but it appears you have and I hope and pray you can be at comfort and peace. I know it is a difficult journey. Thanks again for your post.

Hello. I know just how you feel. Your words are so true. I also suffer late stage severe chronic pancreatitis. And I am at my wits end. It is the cruelest illness I have ever come across. One feels so isolated and in constant severe pain. Afraid to eat. The list is endless. Thank you for posting your feelings. It is comforting to know someone out there understands. My heart goes out to anyone having to endure this cruel illness. Let's hope a magical cure will come along soon.

Same here except I'm 33
Laying in yet another hospital bed, listening to the ticking clock and the obnoxious IV drip

The doctors think i have cronic pancreatitis. I have had pain, swellng, nausea for over 2 years. Ercp, sphincter surgery, ultrasound, block on friday that so dar hasnt worked. I am 39 and dont want to live like this anymore. Will this eventually kill me?

I want to live , but can not Waite to die ! Just how I feel

They didnt know it back then but I was born with pancrease insuffensicy(spell). That lead to a brittle form of double diabetes and chornic pancreatitis. A life time of not properly being able to absorb food lead to various nutritional defeciencies that lead to other illnesses. Now Im on enzyme pills which help me digest and have less pain as the result. My chronic pancreatitis is only mild at this point but it has fried the portion of my pancreas that controlls and makes insulin. It seems there is no hope but yet I keep pushing myself in attempts to make memories with my kids while I still can. Im decluttering my house reading things up for the future. Im not sure what that future is. If I eat a limited amount of the things that worsen my pancreatitis I feel better. I also make my own herbal teas using herbs that decrease inflammation thus helping the pancreatitis. Since itis means inflammation the word pancreatitis means inflammation of the pancreas. But all that doesnt heal me although it does help me.

I know how you feel, I have this also along with diabetes and the diabetes has had bad effects on my legs. I went from 250 lbs to 140 lbs in less than a year. I could not and did not want to eat any thing when I did it made me sicker. It took doctors about a year to figure out what the problem was and when they did told me that I will need to take pills to digest food the rest of my life and that I will need to several medications for diabets the rest of my life. I have been paying on medical bills for some time now and the meds they got me on are costing me a lot of money. As for the pain it does not bother me to much but I do have my moments mainly when I over eat. I now have to 2 different insulins 2 different pills for the diabetes, i take pills for the pain in my legs caused by the diabetes and I take pills before I eat anything. <br />
I now am feeling a lot better but I do have my moments and sometime at work I have to stop and have to go to the break room to sit for about 30 minutes to get over the pain. I now go to my doctor about 4 to 5 times a year now and she gives me blood test at least 4 times a year to make sure that I do not have any problems like cancer or liver damage due to the chronic pancreatitis. This also will go on the rest of my life also. <br />
It has been a long year and I almost gave up my job but with the help of my doctor and my job seeing what was going on with me they did everything possible for me to keep my job I made it through the rough part of this. So to everyone who reads this hang in there go to your doctor get the help you need and take the meds prescribed to you, it does get better you just need to fight to get through the rough part.

Hi. I'm 21 years old and was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis when I was 18. Some days the pain is tolerable and other days it makes me want to give up on everything. I can't afford to go to the doctor, so I'm not on any pain medicine. I can't take the pain most of the time but I also hate the way the pain medicine makes me feel. I was just wondering about the stages of pancreatitis. I saw that you said you were in the last stage. I was just wondering if you knew how long it took to reach that stage? I'm very sorry you have to go through this. I don't believe anyone deserves to...

I really do not mean to be morbid,but when I see people say"I have lived for 10 years with this dreaded disease"I think to myself**Lived or existed**with me ,honestly it is *existed*every damn day is just another pointless day to me,another day of suffering,another day of my own family family members looking down their noses at me because I have to take pain medicine(and the woman on the news ,says"blah blah blah is addicting and be heavily abused"and the mental giantsbelieve every damn thing they see on that idiot box,like I F%$#&^g enjoy having a invisible chain around my ankle leading to the porcelain godyou know what?Idiot's like that I do not even spend the time nor energy trying to convince them I am not a drug addict,they just got through watching Dr. dill hole(PHIL) and he say's...............................HELL with it,if it sounds like I am bitter & ticked off,probally because I really am,I am going down tomorrow and having a will made up,and I shall leave them all a dollar(so they can't contest it)I have never in my wildest night mares thought life could be so rotten,as I said before possibly because this in *not* a life,it's existing.Nothing more to ad,bone dry at the moment,but I shall drag my what's left of me out of the bed tomorrow,and continue it all over again tomorrow,you know(and I dont want you to get the wrong idea here)I read several books on the late great Kurt Cobain,guess what drove him to abuse(or I prefer the term misuse) a substance he used that helped lead his demise,yep,Severe Stomach Pain(never officially diagnosed)gee I really wonder now,Dont you?Would explain allot of the frustration and lack of empathy he said once in a interview,just thought I would give everyone a mental image to ponder,goodnight,hope for a cure or something.

I felt bad for feeling sorry for myself now, I often wish myself dead (since I am a uterus cancer survivor of 14 years) when insomnia with body ache like last night, I live alone, taking care of 75 y/o parents and being unemployed made my depression and chronicle illness worse and often think of death, I want to live now after reading your post.<br />
I admire your theory of focus on living the life and not spending too much time feel sorry for yourself, and now I will think of you when I do that to myself, thank you so much! <br />
be strong, let us know what we can do, I am 42 y/o female live in San Francisco.

I'm always here if you wanna talk about anything. That's nice that you purchased a disabled dog. Thats wonderful. I have 6 cats. I'm a crazy cat lady I guess, LOL! We just took in a stray last year. The poor thing was in bad shape. I spent $500 on him in the first week. The vet was amazed I was willing to dish out that kind of cash for a stray I just found, but I didn't have the heart to just drop him off. He had all kinds of stuff wrong with him. But now he's fine and my husband and I love him. What is your dogs name and what breed is he?

thank you so much for writing to me. I live in new jersey and I hate to burden friends with this. Friends and family can only take so much. Do you remember what American Indians did when they were sick. They would go away from the tribe to die on their own. Wolves do the same thing as do some house dogs..I have a dog by the way he is my best friend. He is also disabled, but; I purchased him anyway. Thank God for the blessings of our pets and people like yourself.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. You are only 48. That's just so young. I'm not going to say a bunch of cliches because nothing anyone says is gonna make you feel any better. I know you say that you isolate yourself for reasons, but maybe you should try to surround yourself with as many friends and family as you can. I don't know what kind of relationships you have with them, but it must be hard to be alone too. I wish you the best. I sent you a friend request. I'm a 44 year old female in the USA