Can't Stay In RelationshipsEver since i was young and at school, i could only go out with a boy for about a month then i would get bored. All my friends would make fun of me as soon as i got a new boyfriend, everyone knew it wouldn't go as far as a month! As i got older, relationships often spanned out to 4 months then i wouldn't be able to keep going. I love the intimacy and doing things like going to the cinema or out for dinner. But when it came down to calling them your boyfriend and not being able to flirt with other guys, i just freaked.
Now i'm getting older, and a lot of my friends are settling down with boyfriends whilst i'm still dating and seeing guys for a few months. Sometimes i'm in it for sex, when i'm out and about with them i don't even want to hold there hand because people will think i'm going out with them. The thought of being with them for a long time scares me so much. I enjoy seeing a guy, then meeting another one and starting too see him. Then i never get bored! It's so selfish and i realise i have hurt so many people but i just can't bring myself to be in a relationship with any of them.
I am currently seeing an older guy who has an amazing body, he's really fun to be around and is great in bed. However, when we're going to the pub or whatever he'll always hold my hand or have his arm around me. He also plans for us to go places in the future and even bought a toothbrush for me to use when i stay at his! It has been a month, and i am freaking out so badly. Everyone can't understand why i don't want to go out with him, he's perfect for me but i just can't be in a relationship. I'm scared of getting older and being alone but i'm even more scared of actually committing to someone!
Stefxo 18-21, F 2 Responses 0 Dec 8, 2010