I Have Never Felt ReadyNot once, have I ever felt ready to be with someone. I have lost count of the amount of men I have dated, the amount of men I have got to the 'seeing' one another stage then how many times I have ran for the hills screaming.
I have never had a problem meeting men or dating. It has always come easy for me. I enjoy the getting to know one another stage and the thrill of dating. When it gets to the point that they don't want to just casually see me anymore, I feel like I force myself to like them and I force myself to take it to the next level. Not once have I suggested taking it to the next level, I have never felt like that is what I truly wanted and that I was ready for. When we do go to the next level, I last a about 3 months before I dump them. I seem to cause some argument and use that as an excuse to leave them.
When I think of being with the same person forever and losing my freedom, it makes me feel terrified and sick to the stomach.
I want to be that girl who finds a decent guy and sticks with him. I have been with decent guys who could have gave me everything, if I didn't push them away. I feel alone.