New To Chat Rooms

This is my first posting in any chat room. I have been in therapy for almost 6 months now, and attend one hour long sessions twice a week. I have been diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder as well as Complex PTSD. Although I truly do love my parents, I have learned that our relationship while I was growing up was not a healthy one. I have a deep depression stemming from a lack of emotional connection with my family while I was being raised. I am almost 39 years old and have one sibling. My brother is 42 and we seldom speak to each other. There is no animosity, but there is just no connection. I can count on one hand the number of times we have hugged over the past 20 years. My father and I have nothing in common and when I do call home, he openly tells my mother that he doesn't really have anything to talk about and 'it doesn't make any difference' to him if he talks to me. My mother believes she is being supportive, but she continues to not devote attention to me even when we're on the phone. Even if she is the one who called me, she is distracted during most of the conversation, yelling at her dogs, watching tv, walking around outside...you name it. Her mother was an alcoholic, which has obviously contributed to a lot of her behaviors. My father was an only child, and his family I dearly love. Only my grandmother is still alive, and she is over 90 years old now and having trouble remembering. I call her occassionally, but there is no longer any way to connect with her and have a meaningful conversation. My mother had only 1 sibling, and older brother. He had 2 children. One of his children died of cancer last year, and my mom and I rushed to be at his bedside over his last days. So much regret. So much sadness for not waiting until it was too late to know him better.

So much to say. So many unanswered questions.