From Verbal Abuse To Nervous Breakdown

My mother used to yell at me randomly and weekly I felt as if I messed up in some small way that she would blow up at me. This happened all throughout college (which was her idea) and the first day of orientation I had a seizure due to stress which should've been a warning sign to me. However I felt school was my only way out. Yet it was a very expensive four year university. So at some points I needed to save money and tried to live at home but my mom kicked me out like she had done before. However, I thought that she might get over doing that. I tried maybe two or three times. The last time, my junior year, (I wasn't doing that great in school either), she yelled and screamed at me and at the end she yelled you're crazy! You're crazy! And I drove away to my grandparents house and later I tried staying with my friends family cause it seemed like everyone was saying there was something wrong with be and it SEEMED like they were saying the same thing my mom was saying like they were agreeing with her and essentially were like her. The day I went to my friends
house they called my mom who called my pastor and they said I should at least just go to the hospital for them and I did. I still didn't see that there was anything wrong but some weird things happened to me when I was there and then I left the next day and went to another friends house and the pain started I finally got back to my grandparents house and the pain was unbearable I had started seeing an east project ( early assessment schizophrenia treatment) who diagnosed me with deep stress and I was put on antipsychotics which I took until this last month, I took them for two years. They said that I could stop taking them if I had less stress in my life which I really wanted to do to lose the weight that the pills made me gain. I've always been cut and active and it brings me depression to be this weight. So we will see what happens. But I am married now and have been off my medication and I try to limit my interactions with my mom.

jsummercole jsummercole
22-25, F
1 Response Sep 9, 2012