I've had Complex PTSD for over 15 years now and the more I understand myself,the more I feel detached from others. Being so self aware makes it hard to be present in the moment and enjoy life. I feel like I can only enjoy myself once I trust and that takes too long. I think now I'm not suffering from PTSD, I'm slowly dying from loneliness.
purplesoc purplesoc
36-40, F
2 Responses Aug 27, 2014

This is very unfortunate. Feeling a detachment from our own race is quite difficult to bear alone. For me, it feels like being the only adult in a world full of misguided children, who have yet to experience anything real. Though I hear it is different for everybody. The one thing that is always the same, is that you are in fact not alone. There aren't a lot of us, and we can be hard to find, but we are out here feeling just how you described it.

I totally understand what you mean about being the only adult around people that have yet to experience anything real. Trauma does create an "awakening" while everyone else remains asleep.

When trying to write my response to your post, I tried several different versions. The first few I wrote were about a feeling of being "awake" amongst dreamers. I couldn't quite bring it all together, so I am glad that you said it. Same page you and I.

" purplesoc " Thank U so much for Your words . Yes we are detached because of this state we are in . We live in our world , THE MOST SAD is that I HAVE ALWAYS ( We) tried to fit in . The average person on the street have no clue how hard its for us and for us to try to live in theres . The good thing about this SITE and other sites is that we can understand each other . So lonely YES YES its hard , very hard to be in this state and accept it . But im very glad that YOU are here so we can write about stuff that is important for us . Purplesoc if its okey i wanna be lonely with U if you understand me ithunderhart