What To Do???

i have been seeing this girl for 3 years, for about the first year in a half i was dating other girls i was flirting with other girls in front of her n i would bring girls back when we would go out to parties together and she wasnt ok with it but she felt like she couldnt do anything so i guess she settled for being a booty call,because i told her from the beginning that i wasnt gonna be with her and that she should find someone else.i felt like she wasnt good enough for me because she is 4 years younger then me and i still couldnt get over my ex i also thought that she was a bit of a **** because she slept with a friend a day after she did with me in the first week we had met granted they were hooking up before but according to her she had already set her sights on me and would stop at nothing to get me so why go through with that.after about a year a half i stopped seeing other girls for her but i was still a huge asswhole i would ignore her for days until i needed something and call her names and i would make her feel so bad to the point where id walk out with her crying in bed.after a year of not seeing anyone else i got a new job i met a few girls i slept with one and sort of started dating another through this whole time she also got a new job so and i could use that as an excuse to see the other girl when she wanted to hang i i would say i was working or tired and we finally did she would be suspicious but i just increased the asswhole volume i would completely hide my phone she really hated that.she would still tell me that im the onlyone she finds attractive and that she planned her whole life with me in it and that it is impossible for her to cheat because im perfect for her and she doesnt believe in going out because people are only at bars or parties for one thing,and that she didnt even talk to people at work because all she did was work and come home.so this o fcourse had me feeling like i can completely trust her i had told her that i needed my space to think things over and come back to it and really give it a try.well in this break where i was sort of dating the other girl. she hung out with four guys from work multiple times and she was the only girl she would drink with them and who knows what else.well in new years she told me if we can hang out i said no cause i was i with the other girl.so she went to this party with same four guys she got drunk said she felt like dindnt want her anyways and it wouldnt matter so slept with one of them she saids shes sorry and still wants to be with me and it wont happen again and i think i can believe her but idk im now done seeing the other girl cause i wanna maybe im not too sure give a real chance im in no position to demand anything but i want her to quit her job so we can start fresh she wont do that but has offered to tattoo my name but i have no idea of how to feel or what to do im completely... confusedNindecisive

confusedNindecisive confusedNindecisive
22-25, M
4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

hello singerofsongs im lost.... thank you sssooo much for your feed back it really does help...how am i supposed to go on about trusting her and beleive that im still her whole world after all this...as milkhisway mentioned im insecure and this can only increase my insecuritys

Hi,confused...how are you! Wow....that's quite,the story! You know....it takes work,to make a relationship work! When someone comes into your life.....and really cares for you,and holds their heart,out to you,in a vunerable,beautiful way.....they usually deserve,the highest,upmost,love and respect you can give them.Always,do to someone else.....what you would want them to do to you! If you want someone to respect you....than respect them.If you don't want a broken heart,and to be cheated on.....than don't do that,to the person who loves you! This girl,has put up with behavior from you,that broke her heart....and put her into some bad situations.Is that....how you want to love someone,who loves you! You know.....we all need some changing,and work on ourselves.....healing,restoration in areas......its never too late for any of us.The fact,that you came clean.....and want to try again,with her,shows that! Being,a woman,myself.....I would also say.....let her be who she is as a person.If,she wants to work......that is her perogative......noone wants to feel controlled in a relationship.If this girl....has a heart of forgiveness for you....and still cares for you......realize she's 1 in a million,and treat her like the princess,she is.We all deserve to be treated,special,by the one we love.Maybe,you both,could go for some councelling,and healing,too.......there is nothing wrong with that.....when you find genuine ones,who really care,and can help.......all the best,to you both!

i think your you might be right about most of it,i was hurt in my previous relationship i feel like that was pre karma, i was the same to her as she is to me.now i feel like i can make her happy and she still wants to be with me no matter what but idk if i can trust her and move....i really do appreciate your response

Hey.....glad it helped........I think its in you both to be respectful,faithful,loving,boyfriend,and girlfriend to eachother.......but a lot of times.......we act out,because of hurts,that need healing......or ego's that need adjusting.......and truly.....God can help you change,the stuff,that seems impossible......but we have do our part,and try to change,what is possible......Lol!

Wow the **** in your duo is you. Sounds like all the negative attributes you were putting on her are your own insecurities. You mentioned you've been with multiple girls and you were gentlemanly enough that you would even tell her about it, but now that she had another **** inside of her, you want to know if you can forgive her? I say break it off clean and let this poor girl move on to playing with dicks rather being hung up on one. You need to not be in any real relationship until you've matured. Sounds like she needs to find a guy who is in love with her and you're not it.
And you better hope karma doesn't come and pay you back when you finally settled down with the woman of your dreams and she's doing every tom, ****, and Harry because you're not enough for her.