Love to Love, Hate to Leave

I have been in this "relationship" for 12 years. I know he loves me. I love him. He does not want a commitment, I am not sure how much of one I want either BUT I want him to want one. IS that wrong?
ishamae ishamae
31-35, F
2 Responses Jan 2, 2008

it's not wrong you said ya'll been together for 12 yrs. but you have to want it too if you don't then I find that a little selfish on your part. I suggest you find yourself and what you want & need in life then decide if you want a commitment with him or is it just that you want a commitment but not with him. Figure yourself out first then decide on what you want to do. Good Luck

No, it isn't wrong, but you shouldn't want him to want something that you're not sure you want, because then that just means that you want it - a commitment. You're just afraid to want a commitment because he doesn't want one which means you're cheating yourself out of time, effort, and possibilities.<br />
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He's being pretty clear about what he wants and it isn't in line with your own desires. If you try to change his mind, he might go along with it for a while, but neither of you will be happy. If you don't try to change his mind, but you hang around to see if he does suddenly, then it'll just be you, alone and unhappy.<br />
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I think you should move on to a fish that wants to be caught.