Mom Still Controls My Life As An AdultMy mother has been controlling me my entire life. Up until I was 14, she did my homework for me because she felt I was too dumb to know how to do it. She never ever encouraged me to take an extra-curricular activity or make and spend time with friends. Her belief was that I needed no friends - just family. She forbade me from seeing my boyfriend at the time because I got in-school suspension for hugging him (considered PDA). She did not let me get a job, a license, or even a learner's permit because she didn't want me having anything resembling freedom. Nope, she wanted me to be dependent on her.
Thankfully I broke out of the homework cycle and began doing my own work...and I found my grades were considerably higher than when she did my work for me. Then I was forced to go to college; Mom wanted to go to college to become a teacher, but back when she was college-aged, there were no student grants or loans, so she couldn't afford it. So, she chooses to live vicariously through me...I went to art school for four years, looked unsuccessfully for work, and this year, I was forced into graduate school. According to her, going to grad school is "For my own good." Yes, it's for my own good to go $50,000 further into debt. I can't even afford my student debt bills now, paying almost $600 on a $2000 annual income. But who cares, right? Mom should know how bad being in debt forever is because she's been paying for her house for several years.
SHe is also teaching me how to drive so I can get my license...and she is teaching me many incorrect and illegal things, like driving in the middle of the road so as to not hit parked vehicles, stopping in the middle of the road when I have the right of way, and driving 10-15 miles below the speed limit. I don't see myself passing my road test...Mom cares more about her car than about teaching me how to properly drive. I don't know why I bother...if I ever can afford a car, I won't be allowed to drive it anywhere by myself. Mom will likely take my keys to work with her so I can't drive around unsupervised, even if I had a license.
I also have to ask permission to go anywhere...to see friends, to see my boyfriend, to see friends out of town. I'm 23. Contrary to what someone may tell you, being an adult does not mean you can do whatever you want. Whoever said that obviously never lived with a controlling parent. I love my mother, but I just feel so trapped. I can't do anything, I can't go anywhere. And whenever I try to go someplace, like to see my school friend in the city, it always has to include a long screaming ordeal.
I just wish my mother was more normal. If she were, maybe by now I'd be driving, have a job and possibly my own living space. She would forbid me from moving out if I tried. It really sucks, but I can't afford to move, so I have to deal with being controlled day in and day out.
StrawberryPocky 22-25, F 40 Responses 3 Aug 10, 2010