Who To Turn To Next?

Over a year ago I was normal, Today Im so different to the person I used to be and dont for the life of me understand what the hell is happening to me.It all started a year ago symptoms that were just bothersome at first but yet didnt stop me from working,numbness tingleing fatigue few months later started having cognitive difficulties word finding, taking in information, saying wronge words etc so i went to my gp who taught it was proberly fibromyalgia, A few days later I was admitted to hospital with slurred speech right sided weakness difficulty walking,Blood tests were done brain ct mri and they didnt find a cause. I was discharged with Aphasia and given a perscription for an epi pen (hallarious), no explantion or cause for what had happened to me, That night at home I was scared and upset I couldnt understand how on earth they could let me home like this not able to talk properly/ walk properly,I went back to the hospital that night very scared at what was happening and I thought no way in hell was it ok to send someone home like this.That was when they slapped the we think this might be conversion disorder on me,sent me home with a perscription for lustral 50mg daily and a follow up appointment to see a psychologist for assessment, Well I waited 4 months for the assessment the outcome being she could not tell me if the physical symptoms were or were not conversion, if the symptoms would stay the same get better/worse but hey I have an invitation to group cognitive meditation therapythis janurary, for 2 months still waiting for the confirmation letter mind you.The cognitive therapy is suppose to teach me how to feel better about the symptoms ha,ha,ha!!!.Oh and last but not least i can if I wish to pay for private therapy at about 70 euro a pop if If I want, but if I want to see her again through the public system i can in 2years time.So six months fast forward, Im no longer taking lustral because it made no difference.Cognitive difficulties remain, Its like my brain words slower ,I can have difficulties with my speech,can become slurred I have difficulty walking properly, problems with balance,numb tingleing cold sensations.Not at all the person i used to be,Im no longer convinced that its conversion, but stuck in limbo land no medical doctor will review me untill conversion is ruled out ,no proper diagnosis or treatment in the mean time I cant tell any more what im going to be like from one day to the next, its difficult to explain how one day your walking is pretty good bump into that same person few weeks later walking around looking like a drunk.Talking good at times and other times mumbling like an idiot, forgetting what the hell your talking about mid conversation,coming out with brillant phrases like put the sock in the dishwasher when you meant to say washing machine.As ive said im not convinced anymore this is conversion,I dont know what it is, But I do know for certain this is not normal, Its definately not all in my head, Its very real.I dont know who to turn to next, but I do know as a human being I deserve a proper diagnosis and proper treatment.not it looks like/it might be/it could be.Thats not good enough!!!
tmc1 tmc1
31-35, F
2 Responses Jan 8, 2013

We feel the same way we have been through this for almost 9 months my husband was walking and talking normal last yr now he has all kinds of symptoms numbness in his face,Not being able to write his name,No balance,He can't put one foot in front of another and multiple other symptoms we have been to the hospital four times stayed for a total of 4 weeks between the hospitals.Been seen by 3 psychiatrists and talked to 2 on the phone that said it is not conversion disorder.We have had every test that you could ever imagine everything comes out negative.We are now on our 3rd neurologist who still can't find out what is going on.Right now we are waiting to go into to see a radiologist for another scan of his brain .The only thing we have left is our trust in God so we know how you feel.

Hi tmc1,

I have conversion disorder, and the symptoms you have listed are among my list of symptoms. I am 22 and was diagnosed with conversion disorder when I was 21. I first had symptoms of conversion disorder when I was 20. I have other symptoms which include inability to speak, odd vocal noises, in ability to breathe for a short period of time, jumping, running into things, hitting myself, uncontrollable head and neck and extremities movement, and uncontrollable facial expressions. I went through the medical exams just like you, and my neurologist referred me to a psychologist. We had a couple of visits and he told me that I have conversion disorder caused by people trying to control me when I was younger. This June I will have been seeing him for one year. So far, he has not been able to give me any way of reducing my episodes. I believe it is something that I will have to work out on my own. The only help I have received is medication. It does a good job except on the days where things are really stressful or I am not feeling my best physically. Those things can cause my episodes regardless of how much medicine I take. I know this might sound crazy to you, but I often find myself laughing at people when they stare at me. I do this because I think it is rediculous to think that a person would willingly behave the way conversion disorder makes me behave. My doctor tells me that it is possible to make conversion disorder go away completely so do not lose hope. I hope this helps you.