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I'll Never Forget

I cried like a 5-year-old when my best friend died from cancer. I was in the shower and just 10 mins. before woke up to hear the phone ringing. It was her husband telling me she'd passed away early that morning. I kind of thought she would because she just wasn't doing well physically. She only weighed about 80 lbs when she died -- from lung cancer. Yes, she was a smoker. She was like my older sister and my best friend. She said she was sure she was going to beat the cancer, but I wasn't so certain. She wouldn't eat, and after a while it seemed like she wanted to die. Plus, the cancer had spread throughout her body. The reason it got so out of hand was that she'd had a cough for about 6 mos. and thought it was a smoker's cough. She didn't want to take the time to see a doctor.

After I talked to her husband I did pretty good holding myself together, thinking, "Well, she's no longer in pain ...." But then when I got into the shower I just lost it and cried like a baby. I was also fairly pissed off at her for leaving me. I'll never forget her. I loved her, needed her in my life. And she died.

ashlynn118 ashlynn118 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 21, 2010

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Express your emotions freely if you have some one around who care for you, at least understand you. No one knows I cry too often.

I just cry whenever I need to, no matter who's there or watching. It does scare some people. Some people will give me a hug or put their arm around me. It's taken me YEARS to get to this point, however. My dad always said that it's weak to show your emotions to other people. I've found out through the years that that's a load of B.S. :)

I'm sorry for your loss; I like to cry by myself sometimes in the bedroom, and sometimes in the shower where noone can hear me.