So I Cry

I feel like I'm torn in two most of the time. Between feelings of lonliness and grief and have this new old feeling coming back into my life and sometimes I feel like two different people.

It makes me so miserable and I can't describe how it affects me. Most days I'm okay. I go to work and laugh with my friends, but at night when everyone is asleep or I'm alone in my room, I cry. Sometimes without knowing why. I feel like I can't quite reach that happiness that used to be mine. I can see it, but I just can't reach. Maybe one day I will.

theredlady theredlady
41-45, F
13 Responses Aug 20, 2009

It was a rather difficult time in my life when I wrote this, and not that long ago. I am .... better now. Feel free again. Thank you for sharing with me. Never feel stupid for sharing. What you have learned and experienced can be so helpful to others.

Thank you Charm. I like the hug. I know it will be okay one day. Just not yet.... I think. One day. But you keep writing. It is a great outlet for your depression. If you ever need to talk, just let me know. It helps to share, sometimes, with someone who is far from you.

I suffer from depression, and some days i feel like this. I can relate to you on this. Feeling like yourself one day and the next you dont recognize this inner power that makes you act differently. Depression is kind of like a monster, like you creating your own frankenstein. I mean i guess you just have to cope and learn to boost it up on negative days. Family members usually help alot. I sent you a hug, it the closest i can get to saying everything will turn out to be fine. =)

Just you being here makes it bearable hippy. My friends keep me going and you're one of my best! :)

awww thats made me sad now...i know exactly what you mean...i am sad you are still feeling this way and i am sad that i cant change it.

Thank you Jacobite. Some days are harder than others but my friends always lift me up! :)

TLady, if I were with you a would give you a big hug, time they say is a great healer,keep your chin up, think possitive, and like IVP and myself embrace the ones we love, and thank God we have them.....:o)

Were it not for my faith I think I never would have made it through the first few months. My friends, both here and where I am, my family have all helped me greatly.<br />
You are right mtnman, it is worth the struggle and I depend upon the peace I have found and the ones I love to keep me moving forward despite the pain that threatens to drag me down. :)

Thank you Salar, I will continue to try. I appreciate the encouragement. :)

Sounds tuf Tl ... but try and keep your mind focosed and what it can do next to keep you happy , be a little selfish and think of yourself only for a while.

I do and I'm willing to bet IVP does as well, but at the end of the day, when you're sitting alone looking at the empty chair next to you.....there are only tears.

Wow Ladys sorry to read this , You can change this thought process that is telling yourself your not happy , best try and keep the mind ocuppied with other thoughts and things for you to do. It does work ... :o)

I hope it does for you as well IVP. :)