The Bed In Which I Cry
Laying in my bed at night....I think to myself how large it is. It's too big for me now. It's a king size bed. I remember when we bought it. I smile at the memory. Our three little ones all crammed in one double bed with him and I. He ended up in the livingroom on the couch. I felt so bad. We built a sign in exchange for a kingsize bed after that. Large enough for three little ones afraid of a storm.
Now it's too big. The little ones don't need it anymore....I don't need it anymore. So I lay here in this giant bed and think to myself, "It's time to get a new one. A smaller one."
I remember picking out the bed. I remember sleeping in this bed with you. I think how it's too big for me now and I cry. Why? What size bed should I buy? A single? Even a double would be too big. A single.... is too sad. So I cry sometimes with this thought in my mind. I can't seem to part with my bed... it holds so many memories....good and sad...none are bad. My happiest memories are of the two of us talking and sharing the sadest are the ones.....the one where you started dying and the other when I and the little ones lay there holding each other crying.... I miss you my dear....