I Can Remember Most..

 1. The night my dad left.

2. One night when I came home after a bad night and my mom went off on me, calling me every name in the book.

3. The night I came home after breaking up with my boyfriend for hitting me, and then my mom went off on me calling me weak, saying I was pathetic for ever dating him in the first place.

4. The night I found out my dog of 15 years died.

5. The night I heard my step-dad force oral sex on my mother.

6. The night my first love left me.

7. The nights I was so lost in depression I would cut myself, but it didn't make me feel numb enough.


Those are the nights I remember, I know there are more, but those are the nights I remember sleeping on a wet pillow.

InsanelyMe08 InsanelyMe08
26-30, F
15 Responses Dec 12, 2009

To me it's boys

thats sad. just be strong, I can say you are a good person inside. just be the same come what may :)

We all have our demons. <br />
Some stories are more hard core than others.<br />
Like you, most of the brutal things that happened in my life were in my childhood, so I couldn't do much to protect myself.<br />
But you know what???<br />
I can now!<br />
I can significantly influence the direction of my life...and so can you.<br />
You're an adult now. Remember to surround yourself with people who are healthy and make you happy. Shed the past. Use the pain to help others.<br />
<br />
Much Love, Much Respect

well i lefted you a comment on your other story this was before i read . i like dear part though as for judgments iam judging .

Wow, well dear if you read my other stories you will realize that I feel myself as the victor in these situations, not the victim. I don't dwell. I just wrote down the nights I have cried myself to sleep. I'm very strong, and have overcame all these things in my life. Learn to have a little heart. <br />
<br />
You have no idea the horrible things I've been through, you don't know me, and you don't know how i had to stand up and be strong at a very young age. Watch yourself before you jump to judgements.

not a biggie i know people who have been in worst situation . you know whast they did they stood up again so if you are just going to dwell on it you will miss out the rest of the joys of your life. move on

why males punished but females not so much??????<br />
Gordy Stefulic 38 : Pricipal, Burhamthorpe Adult School, Ontario, cautioned for having sexual intercourse with an 19-year-old male student on three separate occasions dating back to 2000, not only on Toronto District School Board property but also in her car near a local golf course<br />
and the apartment of a friend. A discipline committee panel held a private hearing into these incidents relating to failure to observe appropriate student/educator boundaries. Subsequently at the board’s and the student’s request that the incident not be made public it was agreed that professional psychological counseling for a period of one year be required.<br />
<br />
<br />
Google "Gordy Stefulic"

Thank you all for the lovely encouraging comments. These are things of my past, and yes, they were very difficult. Some of the things I faced weren't mentioned here but are in my other stories. However though life has been difficult at times, I remain a very happy person. I like to see myself a victor and not a victim. Some of the things that were done to me I want to make sure doesn't happen to other people, and if it does happen, I want to be there for them. No one should have to face things alone. Thank you all for your kind words, I will admit that sometimes my past haunts me, but for the most part I try to let it go and just be the best person I can be. =)<br />
<br />
Sophique, I understand exactly what you mean, my mother was the same way about crying. So crying in private was the only way I could do it, if even then. A lot of things happened, but tears have never come easy for me in times of trouble, maybe because I attempt to suppress them. Who knows? I'm sorry though my dear.

I would cry myself to sleep because I wouldn't want my family to see me cry. Whenever I'd cry if my mother saw me she'd call me weak and ask what I was crying for, doesn't make anything better anyway. <br />
<br />
So if I was ever upset about something I would cry in private. At night, alone where no one could criticize me for crying or tell me how weak I was. I always woke up with puffy eyes.

Im so sorry. Sometimes life can bring you to certain points and you don't even know how they can happen. You just need to move past it and hope for better to come, but stay strong all the way through.

You are so much better than your step-dad and mom. All of the things thrown at you are completely unfair. I am so sorry to hear all of these things are handed to you. You shouldn't have to go through any of it. There are people here who care. Talk to us, whenever you need to. We'll be here. I'm sure we all wish someone was there for us when we needed it most.

sorry to hear about the things that made you cry, some are awfull. by your stories i can see your a very caring person inspite of some of the cards you have been dealt in your early life, i wish you nothing but the best

Hi friend<br />
<br />
People with simple heart will feel torn in critical situations..but please try to face the future situations with more courage..try to make very good friends and have them around you always..virtual or real ones.<br />
<br />
Have bright and cheerful days ahead..Happy..Happy..Happy

Thank you guys, you all are so sweet. =)

Hmm. U had a lot of problems 2 face. What else could u do without cryin. I did d same stuff.but i feel nyc 2 cry not dat it makes me feel better or something just i lyk it.