What do you do when you get so far down that you feel like you can't get back up? Get back up. It's what I was taught. Actually I was taught to crawl to a safe spot and get up and run away. The wonderful life lessons of my father. Live beyond your means then split leaving the bill behind. That used to work for him. I hated it because I didn't have many friends and when we would pick up and move because Dad and Mom's debts got out of control, I wasn't even allowed to write to them because that is how the bill collectors tracked you down back then.
I used to think that was a long way down and I had to learn how to pick myself up alone. I didn't want to be like my father. I still don't. My mother stood beside him, as she should. Now, though, I get so far down at times, I don't know if I'll be able to get back up the next time.
So I ask myself everyday, "How do I get back up if I get too far down again?" I never have an answer. I just tell myself God will give me a way and I keep going. I'm doing way better than I used to. I guess it's just the holiday and some very stressful times. I guess I just needed to vent. So I guess I'll go to bed tonight with a tear in my eyes and a cry in my heart and pray for a better day.