Get Up!

What do you do when you get so far down that you feel like you can't get back up? Get back up. It's what I was taught. Actually I was taught to crawl to a safe spot and get up and run away. The wonderful life lessons of my father. Live beyond your means then split leaving the bill behind. That used to work for him. I hated it because I didn't have many friends and when we would pick up and move because Dad and Mom's debts got out of control, I wasn't even allowed to write to them because that is how the bill collectors tracked you down back then.

I used to think that was a long way down and I had to learn how to pick myself up alone. I didn't want to be like my father. I still don't. My mother stood beside him, as she should. Now, though, I get so far down at times, I don't know if I'll be able to get back up the next time.

So I ask myself everyday, "How do I get back up if I get too far down again?" I never have an answer. I just tell myself God will give me a way and I keep going. I'm doing way better than I used to. I guess it's just the holiday and some very stressful times. I guess I just needed to vent. So I guess I'll go to bed tonight with a tear in my eyes and a cry in my heart and pray for a better day.

theredlady theredlady
41-45, F
7 Responses Dec 22, 2009

I know were you are coming from. The reason I say that. Is still lay in my bed at nights and cry myself to. For I am a 41 year old man that can't get some to be in my life and to share my bed.

I already know how to get back up. I know how to avoid staying low. I've done it far too long to ever stay down again. My self-esteem is not nearly so down as it once was, but still could use some work. It will happen over time I'm sure. Still you must tell me.... what do you see that I cannot do without and have not found the way to finding?

??? ummm.

why males punished but females not so much??????<br />
Gordy Stefulic 38 : Pricipal, Burhamthorpe Adult School, Ontario, cautioned for having sexual intercourse with an 19-year-old male student on three separate occasions dating back to 2000, not only on Toronto District School Board property but also in her car near a local golf course<br />
and the apartment of a friend. A discipline committee panel held a private hearing into these incidents relating to failure to observe appropriate student/educator boundaries. Subsequently at the board’s and the student’s request that the incident not be made public it was agreed that professional psychological counseling for a period of one year be required.<br />
<br />
Google "Gordy Stefulic"

Thanks guys. I guess this was my way of saying that my friends here are, more often than not, my way back up. Thank you all for being here to listen to my random rants. I am here for all of you as well, never forget.:')

All you are feeling right now is normal because of your circumstances and the Holiday Season seems to emphasize these feelings. Know however that you are doing a wonderful job of holding yourself and your family together and moreover you are keeping them happy. You are truly in my thoughts and in my heart, dear lady!!

i believe that God will give you a way and to never give up hope... us EPers are here when you need to spill...peace and blessings.