I Don't Know How To Deal With It...

I was diagnosed with Crohn's and Peripheral Neuropathy well over twenty years ago. While I've done my time in a wheelchair thanks to PN, I have been relatively lucky in regards to CD: I've had pain, cramps & diarrhea - along with a host of other issues - but I haven't had to any major surgeries.
Lately it seems like my luck is running out, or catching up...

About two months ago, I started having way more problems than usual. My doc says the easiest way to put it is that my "Crohn's has progressed." Eating has always been my enemy, but I've always had "safe" foods. Since it "progressed," everything I eat seems to cause problems. I spend more time in the bathroom than I spend living my life, and time in both is filled with pain. Even that, I could deal with: I knew many people with Crohn's still had it worse, so I counted myself lucky and pushed on.

Just about a month ago I ended up in the ER with an Inguinal Hernia - thanks to Crohn's according to my doc - and I go on the meds they prescribe. It seems to be getting better, until...

Two weeks to the day - still recovering from the hernia - I end up in ER again from a severe allergic reaction that very nearly kills me. The ER docs save me and put me on more meds.

I was almost over the hernia, but the allergic reaction or the meds seem to stop (or maybe even reverse) my recovery. It seems like my Crohn's issues as well as my hernia issues have been knocked back to how they were at their worst, and it seems to be getting worse by the day.

Now I have pain from the hernia all the time. Where before I had at least a few moments warning that I had to go to the bathroom, now I have no clue that I have to go until it's undeniable, and the very second I know I have to go, I am in absolute agony.

It seems like it's getting worse by the day since my Crohn's "progressed" and I'm already reaching my limit after only a couple of weeks.

I learned to deal with pain on a 24/7 basis a long time ago, but now I'm feeling pain that I never even imagined possible, and I'm already tired and ready for an end to it.

I know that others deal with this kind of pain all the time, but this is just a level I didn't know existed, and it gets worse by the day. I don't know how to deal with it.

I've always been the "happy guy," who had a smile and a kind word for everyone, but I'm getting to the point where I just can't deal with other people because of my pain and mental state, and I'm resenting them for it. This isn't me.

I need help, someone to talk to, a way to get through this. I'm feel like I'm losing it.
PrimalWriter PrimalWriter
41-45, M
4 Responses Mar 4, 2012

Try this out I know it will help you. James Martin


Try this out I know it will help you. James Martin www.lifevantage.com/MasterPro11

Hi; I have had cd for 42 years. been thru all the bio-logics, just made me sicker. I'm in remission right now from medical marijuana, in tincture form( I rarely smoke) I'm in cal. so it's legal to grow or use with dr's recommendation letter. I grow my own, it's really expensive to use in tincture form, so growing my own was the only way, i use 5mg of pred. and pain med's when needed. I'v obstructed as well with 4 surgeries. and on perm. dis.(ssdi) I'm an artist so I put our business in my wife's name. But I still crank out my product(willow furniture), but I'm at home and when I don't feel good I stop.

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Im having the same problem, it seems i'm always interacting with non safe food, at first i thought it was bread so i stopped eating it. I have a hernia as well, it's very painful. i've had crohn's my entire lifetime, i know your pain, sometimes i feel like dying, its crazy. I'm here for you my friend~ i understand.

Thank you, peach. I had resigned to dealing with the daily pain of Crohn's & Peripheral Neuropathy, but this new pain on top of all the rest was just more than I could take. The biggest thing I hate about Crohn's is the fact that there are no set rules. Everyone who has it has to figure out for themselves what foods are an issue for them. And the fact that our bodies change every decade or so, developing new allergies and issues, doesn't help.
At this point, I don't know if my recent issues were because of Crohn's Disease, old allergies, or new allergies. I know that my Crohn's is more active than it has been in the past, and I know that I am developing more issues because of that.
I just have to find a way to deal with it and keep going.
As for feeling like dying, I couldn't agree more. That seems lately to be something that I would welcome with open arms just to end the pain, but I have a family to support, and can not afford to miss a day or two of work, much less die and have no income at all!
Ya, I know... but I have to worry about how my family will survive if I die, and I hate it. This disease sucks!

Try this