I Had A Lot

i have had alot of dark days.  After me and E broke up i had alot of dark days afterward and i am still in some very dark days. But i have realize that E was right. I need to start taking care of myself . dealing with my disability of my legs. which means i need to start going to the doctor again. Also that how you act in your darkest moments is how you truely are. And i don't like how i truely am. The true me is dark and i hate him. he is angry at the world and everything in it. He is living in the past but this B. This guy is going to realize that i cannot change what has happened in the past and while i love someone very much with all of my heart and i will fight to the death for her. I have to realize i cannot change my mothers death or my fosters parents abusing me but i can change how i am towards people in my life and show them with my actions how i am. I just soaked and feel so much better. I have dark days and believe me it is going to be hard. The moral of this story is i am admiting i have had dark days and was not a nice person in the past and  i am going to change for myself , for my family and for her.
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26-30
Jul 13, 2010