Daddy Issues

Someone asked a question recently about if people are abused as children which direction do they usually take as adults. I read alot of the answers and they were good but there was no ONE correct answers because EVERYONE has their own experiential world. I take a positive and a negative position on this matter. I was an abused child and I grew up with anger and resentment as well as the burning desire to help people who have been through what I have been through. They say that most of people's issues originate from their mothers and I have seen many case studies that prove to be supportive of this claim. However, I have DADDY issues. From the age of infancy to 5 years old I watched my alcoholic father brutally beat my mother as she screamed endlessly. I saw her bruised face and I saw her laying on her bed crying ALOT. I was angry at what I was forced to see. I vowed that I was never going to be in that position. Now that I am an adult I am a gentle, warm, patient, etc. woman until I meet a man who had some of the characteristics that my father has. Then I become distant and cruel at times because I know what my father did and I know what men of this nature can do. So I usually make them hate me.It saves me the trouble of all the unnecessary drama. It's a habit that I obviously cannot break. As far as women go--I love women and I respect them more than men until they do something that gets my attention towards hidden deceit. I can almost smell it. Then I flip the script and put it back on them. So I plan on helping abused children and women and I have DADDY issues. It doesn't make me evil. It makes me human.
Neutrino38 Neutrino38
36-40, F
1 Response Jul 20, 2010

It's good that you understand this about yourself. Thank-you for sharing this story.