Stuff And Things

im going to write down on here things that i think about...

1) are people born to suffer agony at the hands of their own minds.
to struggle and brace against the malevolence of their own self.
In a vain attempt to understand the world; to disstinguish right from wrong and seek the elusive idea of peace and warmth?

2) the hidden battle of self against self, the agony known only by the consciousness which encases it.

the winner of this battle is the side most conditioned

This battle cannot be seen, there are no swords nor musketts nor men, yet it ravages a person from the inside. And to the person which holds this war, death is far more faveorable.

Willpower is the only thing keeping this person from jumping into the awaiting arms of death.

Maddening as the war is it is a miracle how they can ignore it; people who push it aside into a box stored in the darkest shadow of the deepest part of their mind.

Now a compressed bundle of insidious devises more lethal than syrian gas and ten times as painful, the bomb waits for the moment when a person is at his weakest.

That day will come, and when it does the war will stretch to the farthest part of the mind, crushing everything that is left untill it clashes with itself oncemore, continuing the endless war, unscathed by the years of dormancy.

I see the worst possible outcome to everything... if i see a little girl in a shopping cart i invoulantary imagine something like the girl rolling backwards down a hill or getting hit by a car or her mother ringing her neck.

If i hear some one scream (fun or fear) i imagine the worst scenario like they broke their ankle and their foot is backwards and they are screaming and blood is everywhere because it is a compound fracture.

When i imagine these types of things they always feel so real.. maybe my mind is going rougue.

I have imagined random people just attacking me and i can feel it it doesnt hurt much it is mostly annoying (like when you fall asleep on your arm and when you wake up you cant move it well.) but in specific sparts. like if i imagine someone chocking me i can feel the cool feeling on my neck

sometimes i see someone shooting me in the head or stabbing me... things that happen to me dont scare me very much at all.. its when i imagine someone else getting hurt that i almost break down into tears.

If you punched me in the face as hard as you can and then not long after that you got jumped by some random people i would run in there like you were my best friend. Saying this i can still hurt or kill a person but i would feel super bad and if you wernt dead i would patch you up then let you punch me in the face for hurting you.

soooo yah please comment

LoveChild14 LoveChild14
18-21, F
Jan 21, 2013