People take it for granted that my nice side is larger than my temper sometimes.  I'm always shocked when people call me "nice"  I feel that i am one of the most self involved people i know.

I can be generous, but only when i feel it is deserved..

THAT is all beyond the point.  I wouldn't ever REALLY kill somebody, but there have been people who push hard against things that I find "taboo" in my house, in my surroundings, in my life.... And i can usually look the other way, or at least say my piece and be done with it.

The ignorant i can usually forgive, if i sit them down and explain why such behavior is "taboo" to me (talking foul, inviting oneself over, letting yourself into my house, bossing around my kid)  they can see where i am coming from and they stop..

but some people are just dumb, and the more they violate my taboos the more and more i want to hurt them.  I don't just want to kill them, i get so mad I'll close my eyes and wish i could see them squirm and suffer.   I'll think of the most long and painful ways for them to die i can imagine...

I guess there are the other people i fantasize about killing... the people who tried to turn me into a victim.  Who not only hurt me, but made me think it was my own fault.... of course... death is just too good a fate for them... but when I'm hurting- it can be fun to entertain myself with.

Why?  because i imagine its better than sticking a fork through their throat in person... i don't wanna go to jail,i don't REALLY want to kill anybody.. .I'm just angry and i have no idea how to be angry in a healthy productive way. Hitting pillows is not really going to steam off as much anger as i  have in me... relay.

so I'll vivisect as many people as i want in my day dreams... they cant arrest me for that... yet.


Yeah, not one of my more flattering stories to write i know... but there ya go.  another slice of me on a plate.

Shierke Shierke
26-30, F
7 Responses Mar 19, 2009

I understand

*LOL*<br />
<br />
that's great boz just hilarious as chit.

!) get stick<br />
@)find dead tree<br />
#) beat the tar out of tree untill stik breaks or you tire and rage leaves,perferably while listening to music that makes you want to fight <br />
$) ????<br />

Don't really spend a whole lot of time doing it to be honest... that's why it says occasionally,and not sometimes and always.. <br />
<br />
just when i need a release valve.

Whist I don't blame you for doing it.. It's unhealthy. <br />
You are what you think. Try to at least limit the amount of time you spend doing this. All and any thoughts that you entertain are constantly training and changing you.<br />
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I know that this sort of thing is harmful to the mind, it is a poison.<br />
Take care. :)

Haha this is my second favourite kind of daydream.

That's what everybody keeps telling me anyways :-D