Right Way To Life.

Over the past few years I went through some major emotional setbacks and when you feel broken you tend to break everything around you. I did that too. Destroyed everything and then spent my days looking my worst, whining about how tired i was of everything.

But this type of behaviour really doesn't help. It just pushes one down into this dark place where you want to cry all day and in severe cases, commit suicide.
The worst part is the person suffering this doesn't know that they are wrong because it just hurts so much that you cant think clearly. In such situations a jolt is needed. I got mine while watching a vlog of this youtuber replying to questions he was frequently asked. He was talking about how a person should not be scared of taking chances and experimenting with any kind of art form. Listening to him, I came to know that I am scared of life. Scared of the huge 'what if..' .

I've had quite a rough life, i'm sure there are many people out there younger than me living a harsher life but you know when you are frustrated, you tend not see the good and happier side of your being. I over did that...BIG TIME!
I dont know how I came to think like that. I was a strong personality when I was a kid, whatever happened to me!
So anyway, I thought to myself if I could take on life and be happy as a kid I should be able to do better now. But somehow I cant. Why? Well I stopped believing in myself and the fact that life will turn out right. I stopped seeing things that were working for me, I stopped enjoying things and stopped doing things I was passionate about. I stopped living.

That really shook me up. I just somehow knew that this person that I have become is not me. I am not someone who just gives up, I am a fighter. I was freaking trained to as a child to expect hard things in life and keep walking no matter what. I have lived like that. Life would throw me down, I would stand up, dust my clothes off and keep walking. Now I just let life punching me in the face and I dont even do anything to make it stop.

After seeing that video I thought of what i can do to make my situation better. I got lot of answers from within and that felt good. I've taken a few steps to achieve my dreams that i thought were broken. They are very small right now but I just somehow know that one day I get my confidence back and I'm gonna rock! When that day comes I am going to turn to life and give it 'the' finger and say "you can just go **** yourself because I'm not your ***** anymore".

So why did I title this post 'right way to life'? I feel happier already knowing that i have decided to take matters in my own hands and get on with life. And when you truly are on the right path, this spot above your heart swells and you feel this flow of energy that you used too, which stopped when you procrastinated and kept waiting for a miracle to happen.
You have to be your own miracle worker at times to be at a place where God/universe/destiny , whatever you call it, blesses you with this monumental moment of pure awesomeness (sorry I couldn't think of another word...Barney Stinson plagues my mind).

I have decided to be happy, so should you...if you are not happy. If you are then pat yourself on your back and feel good that you have been successful in kicking life's balls.

DcreativeBUG DcreativeBUG
6 Responses Dec 10, 2012

Steps back, a moment of awe at your achievement! Well done to you. One disagreement though - life is not a b!tch... it is other people than can make it so... bit like guns don't kill people, people kill people. Micky @~@

I am so glad you took this step, and so glad you didn't figure out that your happiness really IS in your control as late as I did. Everything changes once you've figured that out.



Ok, that answers my question, now I know how to find your blog.

ps if i were your age i would have bounced back eventually. not so easy when youre older.
I spent my life building and others have spent their lives destroying what ive built.when youre still getting knockbacks at my age, its harder to bounce back.

I hope you will find peace one day. I will pray for you.

Thanks for you kind words, im afraid praying wont help after almost 18years.
Ive all but given up hope of any kind of help which isnt chemical related.

Im in that nightmare now, i dont know what happened to you so i cant comment. Im not the person i used to be and i long to be happy. Yes im my own worst enemy. It must be the maternal instinct in me which keeps me waiting and hoping my abducted children would no longer bear the hate which has been instilled into them. Im 57 and i fear that im near the end
cos the only end to this agony must be in a coffin. Ive even calculated my average life expectancy and have numbered the calendars, so i can countdown to the end of hurt.
To this day i still cant believe whats happened and i still hope im going to wake up and find its all been a very bad dream or ive been in a coma.
I dont feel part of this hateful world.

Good attitude to adopt. I've been there more than once. As for the photographic work, my attitude has always been it's not how many times you leave it in disgust as long as you return to it.