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Any Time You Want As Long As It's Noon.

It's wonderful to have a name that isn't "lazy".

Reading the Wiki on DSPS I just e-mailed the link to my boyfriend and said "that's me".

Ever since I was a kid, dragging myself out of bed for school or work is a nightmare.  People say "well, it's because you stay up all night, get to bed earlier and you won't be so lazy".  So I go to bed early, and stare at the ceiling until 2 am and then struggle to get out of bed the next day, the four alarm clocks that I just switch off in my sleep, that eventually mean I'm conscious enough to remember there's something I have to do.  Oh yeah.  Go to work. 

And at the weekends when I have a little time to myself, potentially, I stay in bed until maybe 11 am, usually noon, sometimes later, and waste half the day.  I did a "clock reset" and stayed up all night watching the American election earlier this month, which made me feel a bit better.

I have odd dreams too.  I wonder if it's related.  I dream that I'm in bed and things are falling over, or the boyfriend is bleeding, or there's a hedgehog in the bed, and wake him up looking for it.

My employers are pretty good in that I can just about struggle out of bed in time to get to work for 9.30, and so that's when I start.  It happens every job I go to - they expect me for nine and my clock just won't do it, so it slips later and later every day, until I stabilise between half nine and ten.  But I make my hours up at the end of the day and work damn hard, so I get away with it.  But I always seem to be told I'm depressed, or that I should "make an effort" like everyone else, or some bitchy colleague complains to the boss that I'm "too lazy to be prompt" or "staying up all night" and I get the little discussion in the little office where I'm made to feel like I'm not trying hard enough and I'm not good enough. 

The happiest time for me, sleep wise, was when I worked at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, because I'd get up around noon, flyer for the shows, work the show in the evening, and socialise until dawn, and then go home to bed.  And I'd go to sleep at 6 am and wake up at noon and it just felt... right.   It doesn't seem to be how many hours I sleep that are the problem.  It just seems that, whatever time I went to bed, I don't feel awake until noon.

I'm starting a sleep diary, and I'm going to talk to my doctor once I've done it. 

It's such a cliche, to have a "name" for something.  But so many of the other names for it are so negative, people say you're lazy, or "not a team player", or shirking, or unreliable.  If I can actually have a note from my doctor to say I have a "syndrome" perhaps people will start working around me for a change, and I won't feel crap in the mornings any more. 

 

Desi.

Desideratist Desideratist 31-35 2 Responses Nov 14, 2008

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Haha a hedgehog

But yeah its good it has a name

Interesting.I get you feel too ensecuried!Cause I get up at 6 every morning in School,yet sleep to moon back in home.I know I can't squander my time everyday.

But you stay later so you didn't really lose any time.