Welcome to My So Called Reality

I suffer from depersonalization . I basicaly feel detached from the world, its kind of a dream like feeling that comes and goes, but seems to come more often rather than goes. Anyway if anyone knows what i mean let me know

deftone deftone
26-30, M
39 Responses Nov 19, 2008

Does anyone know of some real support groups where I can talk about having this? I feel like people that don't have it wouldn't understand and it's hard to communicate these feelings online. I really need someone to talk to about it. I have it and my life seems like it has been ruined. I miss the old me desperately.

Dude, do I ever. I've been there. I spent about four years of my life mired in depersonalization. I've been cured (with a few relapses) for over eight years. Zoloft is what saved me.<br />
<br />
Of course I don't know whether medication can help you or not. But I wish like hell that someone had told me the things I'm about to tell you: <br />
Depersonalization will not develop into anything worse. <br />
You are not going crazy. <br />
You are not alone. <br />
You will not lose control.<br />
You can get better.<br />
Though difficult and uncomfortable, engagement with others is a great treatment. I know that it's usually the last thing you want to do when your DP is peaking, but most of the time it helps.

Yes, I feel the same.way too...the walking dead. Sometimes I hate it, but I learned the better I accept it the better I can ignore it. I felt like the more I gave it attention the worst it got....just say

Just saying*

I'm 13 and I have this,I've had it about 2years now, I learned to live with it. does anyone know any way to get rid of it? I am so fed up of it and I just want to be normal again. I hate it so much.

I relate to this so well. I've been to seven different schools and I think it's had an effect on me. It's alot more difficult for me to associate with people I guess because I'm always the "different one". I put in so much effort all this time to talk (and I'm an introvert btw) but it just ended in vain. I know what you mean by feeling like you live in a dream. Sometimes when I manage to reconstruct an ideal scenario with amazing music I would be so happy. So glad that I finally had imaged to escape the world (temporarily). I would also make multimedia projects, draw, listen to music, and write prose to escape reality. Besides being always the "outlier" of the social order (i.e., social reject) I also had to witness from my infancy to now (17 years old) the chaotic fights that occurred between my parents (it caused me to resort to fantasies in my head at a young age). I would be so happy going to another friend's house where the atmosphere was different and then I would dread leaving knowing what I would have to face..... But the good news is that this disorder helps in some ways. It gives you a different perspective of the world and in highschool/uni it differentiates you from the crowd ^_^

hi im female 20 ive had this dp for almost 2 years anyone no any quick releif methods? feel like im going to loose my mind at any momment :(

Does anone here have the book: "Depersonalization a recovered sufferer's guide to total recovery"?

I've experienced dp through shrooms... I felt unplugged from the world and found a strange peace from it along with the hallucinations of course but I still felt my own existence. I was on a whole new level of self awareness it was crazy I really enjoyed it but I can't begin to imagine how It must be to constantly be in that state.

I dont know if what I have is what you guys describe? I dont know if its depression or depersonalization or maybe both?? I have no feelings most of the time I try to care but just dont. I feel like im in a dream and everything isnt real. I dont have the feeling like im out of my body or anything just have no feelings for anyone or have no interest in anything. I cant even feel when someone dies? I am at a loss nothing interests me and I have no desire to work or play anymore. I even tried moving to another state and the feeling of being in a dream is worse. Its even starting to affect the way I take care of my kids and I dont want that at all. I know I should seek help but have no insurance because Im not working as much? Im soooo confused and desperate for help!!!!

Sounds like major depression, and depersonilization also.

Hi. I have had this for years. I feel Exactly how you described . Did u get better? If so, how? Please I have kids too and in a dream and no pleasure or desire to do anything. Iam lost. Thanks, kate

i have just sort of come to accept it it's f@#king horrible ... i just wonder wen will it go away?! it's been over a year now....

It will never go away thats the part that you have to accept.

im 13 years old and i feel the exact way i get soo scared you know ?!<br />
and it was 1ce that i was peer presured and ever since i've felt like im in a movie or in a dream !<br />
Isvit going to last forever D:<br />
i mean you guys have had it for quite a while im soo scared D:

You'll be ok I promise, just stop thinking about it and live your life the only reason uou are haveing symptoms is because your thinking about it just ignore it and it will go away. Good luck:)

Ugh..I've been suffering with this for a while too..it just started a couple of months ago..I hope some day I can snap out of it..its like I'm a robot on auto pilot..I recognize everone round me and I speak normally but its like my brain is automatically programmed to do those things..its an annoying feeling..

i'm with shadowlight. i get this as part of my PTSD. i have had it briefly once before when i was suffering depression in the past, but it is far more frequent since a few years before i have been diagnosed with PTSD. it is much like being asleep in your waking time, or watching your life like a movie. i call it my zombie time. for me it's a yucky feeling that comes and goes for a few hours every day.

You are very right my friend

some say reality is better than the dream, but i found out the hard way, nothing is what it seems.

I started my depersonalization the night after I took eat weed brownies. Two months later (now) i still feel like i am in a constant dream. I wonder on a constant basis if I am going to ever get out of this dream state or if I am going to life the rest of my life as someone that is non existant. After watching the movie (numb) I felt much better and from brief moments came out of the dream state.

i refuse to take prescription medication i find it is worse than street drugs!. <br />
i prefer to accept its the way i was made. I dont even like talking to doctors. I dont feel anything towards them i just see them as legal drug pushers. That probably sounds harsh to some but thats how it is in my head. I am supposed to be takng 12 tablets a day i take none. Thing is they give you all this medication but when you ask what you have they cannot tell you, if you cant tell me whats wrong with me then how can you medicate it is my question!. im not a guinea pig.

Its pretty hard to cope with. I quit fighting it awhile back. I even took paxil to try and fix it, it didnt do a thing for me though so i got off it.

i didnt realise it was a disorder i just thought it was a state of mind. i think i may have this. i never really feel part of anything. i am quite worried as im starting college next week and i know already i am going to have problems relating to the rest of the class. i think i will just try to be very quiet so not to attract anyone to me. thing is i seem very friendly one day and very off the next..its off putting for people who dont understand me. I dont keep friends.

Thats exactly how it feels too. Its nice to know were not alone. Makes you feel a little less crazy. Im at the point now , where i feel it so often that its normal to me. Every once in a while i will stop and really notice it .. its like come on .. wake up .. hello.. is this really happening...

its like......you're holding onto something like a peice of cloth. you can feel it in you're hands and yet, you also can't. you there and yet you're not. you dont feel as if you're a part of you're body and you look into you're own face and you can't help but think "am i in there? who am i? am i my mind?"

I can relate on some level, I do not have any form of dissociation disorder but I do have PTSD and experiance depersonalisation from time to time as part of that.

Thats exactly right. There is something oddly peaceful about it. Its like you could just watch t.v and zone out to whatever it is, may it be golf or the olympics . Its nice. You know, i just watched a movie that was recommended to me. Its called "Numb" and its got mathew perry in it. Its pretty cool becouse he has depersonalization disorder. I had never heard of it till not to long ago. Its a pretty accurate account of the disorder other than a few exagerations. I would recomend it.

It's definately like a dream, things seem unreal and yet they can be still beautiful in a strange way. It's definately a cognitive fascination though...I don't feel much emotion about it....like in a dream. You're oddly removed from it all.

Hey you know what , i think it could. I notice that when i am reeaally stressed out or in a stressfull or awkward position i tend to go into like an auto pilot mode.I hear and speak but its like im not really doing it, like you said its like watching it on t.v. When i looked up depersonalizaton disoreder it described me to a Tee. I went to the doctor for it a couple of years ago and he prescrbed me paxil.Your supposed to take it for a while befor you feel a difference but i didnt give it enough time and gave up.But ya, its a very annoying feeling. Its been stong with me here lately.

I can't say when this started. It may have been my whole life. It was about 5-6 years ago that I had a thought I don't feel like I am living my life, but watching it like a television show or movie. <br />
I have never had a doctor's diagnosis, but I think this is what I suffer from. I looked my symptoms up on-line and was given the name depersonalization disorder.<br />
<br />
I was and still am a very shy introverted person and wonder if this could be a cause for feeling like this.

yes , your very welcome to join anytime. I sure could use some company in this zone that im stuck in :) come fly with me fly! High above the mucky muck castles made of clouds.

Yes it sure does. Its kind of a numbing feeling.Theres another disorder very simailar i think its maybe desocialization disorder.

I think you presume right. I think it is a coping mechanism but one that cant be controled. Ive tryed and tryed to "snap" out of it but theres nothing i can do. Ive learned to just deal with it. Coping with a coping mechanism.Oh the irony :)

haha yes exactly, in a way thats what it feels like . You know i think it all started in highschool.I remember i always felt 'zoned out ' i think it just stemed out from that

nono not weird, i know what your talking about. Ide say it falls in the same category

Its like living in a different world

I know those feelings too. I always drifted away when I was emotionally stressed. But it got worse for me.Sometimes I don't realize that I exist and I am wondering who am I??

i agree completly

we can talk about it anytime as i feel its a much misunderstood disposition/disorder to have really.love maria x

Maria?? is that your daughter?? i`m so scared of having children.. i think, how can i be a mother when i`m so toxic, so completely detached, so numb?? How can i do something that needs my full presence if i can`t be present for myself??

thats exactly how it feels too

i think from what u are describing i have had that at my worst times.its on my dr notes anyhow.im totally detached from the world,life feelings and whatever.its like being for me in a coma but u can walk and talk.feel for u if you get those feelings also.ive been ok this year.pray it stays that way x maria

yeah, I couldn't handle the constant belittling that I received from my mom (from others, later) when I was a kid, so I got really good at living inside of my mind. I would come back to places so often. I would create my own reality because I couldn't accept the one that came back to me the most. When I withdrew to the point where my mom couldn't hurt me, reality became less painful, and I lived in it more often.<br />
<br />
Sometimes, I really miss living inside of my mind. Everyone would tell me how far beyond my age my mind was. I miss the days when I only did what I loved. I just can't afford to neglect reality anymore...

i hear ya, it used to annoy me more than it scared me,i went to a doctor about it and he prescribed me depression meds.But i wasnt any more depressed than anyone else, they werent helping so i quit taking them, i have just learned to cope with it