Living the Dream, Literally.

All of the stories posted before me are basically the same, and I don't blame anyone who has written before me, because i feel exactly the same way.  I just want to ask a question and would really appreciate if someone could reply to it: are there groups for depersonalization disorder in an alcoholics annon. but..not? I've always wanted to meet someone that felt the same way, and visiting doctors doesn't exactly do anything.  The thing people don't realize is even though they are doctors, they don't feel or see the way someone with this does, and no matter how hard they try, they wont be able to diagnose it right.

To put it in the easiest way possible, I feel like i'm dreaming the most elaborate dream there could be, and that i've been dreaming this dream for almost 20 years. I was prescribed a medicine to raise my ceritonin levels but that definatly didn't do anything for this.  I don't know, i almost prefer having this over being "just like everyone else" simply because i can see things in ways that they can't even dream of.  Almost everyone looks at having depersonalization as a negative thing, but to be honest, i really don't mind it.  I just wish i could meet some other people with the same disorder so i don't feel like i'm the only one?

HisNameisFrank HisNameisFrank
18-21, M
14 Responses Feb 14, 2009

hey im jordan ive had this problem for a long tie and it's nice to talk with people that i feel understand

I have also wanted to meet people with this condition as I think it would help; knowing and talking to people who understand
what it is like!!

I've had DR for 23 years.

I have been living the past 4 years on and off xanax and adderall, this habit started in college because I felt like it helped. the last two years in college and up unto now, I've become so numb to everything. it takes so much out of me to get out and do things. now all I really do is work, sleep, eat and occasionally see friends but most of the time I am living in fear.I don't know how I am going to
recover from this and I know it's affecting my life negatively.

I've had DP on and off for 7 years. There is only one way to recover. Time. Do absolutely everything you want to do, accept that it will take time and be strong! You will get through this. I'm a teacher and I just accept it.

I think it was also a blessing at a time I needed it most. But now I want it and it won't come back.

ive had it for about two or three years now and and it has always filled me with a massive sence of dread and ive been so scared every time it waved over me (about 4 hours each day sporadically).... after reading some of the responses it makes me think that because im different because i live on a different level than the rest of the world might not be a bad thing... for the next few days im going to try to embrace it rather than be scared and oppress the feelings that my body and mind want for me... ps if we had a 'group' **** might get messy with a room full of people who aren't on this planet lol wish me luck

I thought I had posted yesterday, but I did get twisted a little in the process. I wonder, sometimes, if I'm really having a problem or just thinking I'm having a problem because I may not be like so many other. Initially, they never told me they don't have a problem, and secondly, there is a saying "follow your bliss". So long as your "bliss" is honest, moral, legal, and ethical and you're happy with yourself, it should be fine (I keep telling myself.). I try not to look for faults within me, I'm more or less my own "creation" and live with it from day to day. Losing some "bliss", or enough of it, would, I'm sure, force me to accept something different. It has several times, lately. I've seen some real beauty that I had ignored for years and it's like having a pound of candy. AND, talk to us. Help us help you and ourselves. Thom

I believe every story I read inspired me. Thank God there is people out there who suffer from this mental illness just like me. A few months ago I could've called it an mental illness. But now I perceive it as a blessing. It made me stronger, and I grew from it. I've had if for a year now. Iam just like every othe person in the world. Though I'am speacial and different from the rest of them.<br />
<br />
''I'am a sufferer of Depersonalization Disorder''

kazza48, that is a wonderful message you posted. What a great attitude. We sometimes discount ourselves because we're not exactly like others, but by the same token there's nobody exactly like you (or me) and we need to remember "Me". Thanks for that insight - we could take this further, I think. Enjoy. Thom

I seem to do well with random thoughts, and this morning it came to me that my "depersonalization" is linked to past rejects which I don't want repeated, and my anxiety (which is very severe (I'm Agoraphobic)) keeps me from "touching" others. It may be a protective mechanism. I'm afraid of trying "it" again, and any rejection or anything that looks like a rejection sets me back years. It's sad, but yes, there must be help, even if it's only each other. thom

It has recently occurred to me that all my life I have seen the world, and especially other people, as flat, with NO dimensions. There has just been nothing out there. Recently I've been seeing the world and the people in it as "round" (three dimensional) and find that to my surprise I'm attracted to and frightened by this experience. I have to practice it in order to feel it but I'm an old man and I don't have much time to enjoy this new found feeling. Now (and I don't know if you can understand this) I realize that if a car goes past the house there must be someBODY in the car, doing something, going somewhere maybe important, and it's a whole new world. The wall may be coming down. Can you understand? My humor, wit, vocabulary, etc. have all been concocted to keep the wall up and now it's coming down. I would enjoy hearng from you with your feelings. Thom

My therapist is just looking into DP about me but I have had feelings of unreality for most of my life. To be honest, most of the feelings are quite pleasant to me. I suppose because I always had them I never panicked about them. My only complaint about it at that level is it does interfere with my concentration, motivation and sense of connectedness to others (in real life as opposed to in a spiritual we're-all-connected way)<br />
<br />
I must say though, I don't like many of the feelings I get since I had a head injury. They are more intense, and accompanied by headaches (preceding) and nausea (during).<br />
<br />
It is funny though that whenever certain people feel more real to me than everyone else, they always have had symptoms of's like we inhabit a different level of reality just slightly out of sync from everyone else. They feel more real to me cause they're in my reality. Sounds crazy, but that is my experience.

hi everyone, <br />
i feel i can help those of you who want overcome this, i get up everyday and think, this is my life, i am real, and i'm going to enjoy life. I ignore the feeling when it comes on, i laugh or talk to someone or just continue what i was doing. not giving it energy really seems to help, it stops quickly, i don't ask myself am i real or like everyone else anymore. I know i am, and i feel much better and get through every day much easier. <br />
I had it for 6 months constantly and caused myself anxiety because i was scared of it, but im not now, i accept it is part of my life, and can't hurt me, now i am getting better each day and always feel myself. please try it have faith in yourself and the power of your mind. Good luck