Where do I start? Sigh I was diagnosed at 21 and my first breakdown I was 17 I'm nearly 37 now 3 kids it's hard sometimes I just want to cry someone to vent all my anger and frustration onto I believe in God but sometimes I need to be able to physically see someone and just open up sometime I just want to screen or run away from my depressing thoughts on a positive note I thank God for my life my children family and friends
ilovemykids2014 ilovemykids2014
36-40, F
1 Response Aug 23, 2014

Confusing mix of feelings. It's not easy. Like when I'm around my kids I'm not that bad, but when they go to sleep and I'm alone i start to worry about things. That's when the bad feelings take a grip on me. Finding someone to talk to about everything is difficult.

Yeah I've not been sleeping since my daughter was born and I also have a 2 year old and a teenager he's doing my head in at the moment makes me want to walk out I just end up having a smoke or going outside for some fresh air. Night time is the worst for me too I tend to overthink conversations and things that have happened in my life think I have OCD post Partum or either that or it's part of my bipolar

Meds made me worse so i don't take anything now. I spoke to counselor at a place and he said that under my circumstances anyone would be depressed. May be what's going on with you in a way. The past haunts me bad at night mostly. I made a lot of bad choices and decisions that didn't help me progress in life. Mainly helped ruin it. Anyway, I blame myself for that and beat myself up about it daily, what bugs me really bad is the things out of my control that make things difficult. More bills than money. Keeping a smile on my kids faces when i know we are walking on glass. Barely make it to the next pay. Post pardon is really bad if your dealing with that. I just think i expected the prescribed meds to numb me and it didn't happen.

Hi sorry for the late reply so sorry to hear you are going through a hard time if you ever need to vent ATM I'm up most nights with baby and if I don't reply I will get back to you as soon as also you can chat to me on FB pm me and I'll give you my details.

After I had my last daughter I totally lost the plot and nearly lost her so I've has a rough ride I'm hoping not to get ill this time as doctor put me back on my mood stabiliser in the hospital after I gave birth.
Hope that your feeling better soon

I hope they help, the meds, i just think anxiety was my main problem but they were tearing me for depression. So the meds didn't help the symptoms i thought they would somehow make manageable. I am up late a lot and don't have anyone to talk to about problems so i may take you up on the conversation. The few people i know don't really understand what we are going through. Not even the doctors. I'll add you to circles and catch you later today. I'm on the east coast so not sure what time zone you're in.

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