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I Hate You More Than I Hate Myself

this poem was inspired by the immediate reaction i have in my brain whenever i look at a razorblade..its a deep, haunting ache..



i see you

i ignore you

but its too late

 

hold my breath

hold very still

pretend i havent gone rigid

 

fear in my eyes

panic in my heart

is the pain i feel now

not real enough?

 

i hate you

i want you

holding you gently in my hands

 

mind is numb

heart is number

i slip down....and disappear

 

brought back to reality

numbness breaks into waves

of intense pain

then suddenly relaxation

and darkness....intense darkness

 

i see you in my arms

the image becoming blurry

with tears

 

i see you on the floor

i see her in the mirrior

an empty shell of a girl

why does she even exist?

 

i see you in the past

i see through your empty

promises of escape

and wicked lies

of release

 

i hate you more than i hate myself

foamborn foamborn 18-21, F 12 Responses Mar 12, 2010

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I love it, there isn't a better way to describe it!

I really thought your poem was well written. I write poems like that a lot as well. It makes the weight lift just a tad...

Dark and atmospheric. It would sound strange to say that I liked such a composition, but I am not sure what word I could use besides that.<br />
Someone is cutting down a massive sycamore in the neighborhood...and this fills me with sadness, as this tree has kind of been one of the fixtures of the neighborhood. I suppose it is just another tie cut.

Wow...this is beautiful, sad and so real. Thank you for sharing that.

thank you *huggles*

This is such a sad poem. I can feel the emotion deeply as i read it. Very well written.

thank you all for your support and good vibrations

I like this ALOT! I feel like it is so deep and explains soo much

that surprisingly sounds like me, either we are the same or ur spying on me 0.0

*hugs* I'm sorry you feel this way... I feel a lot like this too. :/

lyk it love it it just....the u express yourself is just amazing

Dark...but expressive. Thank you for sharing. Im sorry for what you have been thru but just remember struggle equals strength and you will get thru this...xoxo i am here to help