More Than Six Months So Far

I got my diagnosis back in May. My doctor said that he knew I had it before he even asked me any questions: he took one look at me and knew I was a wreck.

I guess a lot of things led me to being depressed - you can see a few reasons why in some of my other posts - but I put off getting serious treatment since I'm a stereotypical stubborn male. I had tried counseling before, but it always felt like a temporary "rah, rah, sis boom bah" only to have the same feelings come back a few months later.

Aside from the usual things making me miserable - the job, the apartment, the (lack of a) love life, I noticed that my downward spirals tended to be sparked by one small, insignificant thing. A random comment, an out-of-the-blue negative thought, etc. Never the same thing twice. Once it happened, I'd be in a horribly low state of mind for days, maybe even a week at a time.

I'd always have trouble concentration, focusing my mind on one thing at a time and not dealing with constantly racing thoughts. I couldn't enjoy things anymore, and I had issues with sleeping.

The breaking point while talking to my Mom earlier this year via Skype. The floodgates opened, and I broke down sobbing so hard that she threatened to call the local police out of fear that I might attempt to kill myself. She practically begged me to see my doctor. Hence the appointment and subsequent diagnosis back in May.

My doctor put me on Cymbalta, starting with a month on 30mg and then up to 60mg. The side effects were at their worst at the beginning: I was VERY tired all the time, and there was small yet noticeable nausea. These ebbed off after working up to 60mg. However, I still feel somewhat drowsy throughout the day, particularly in the mornings - understandable, since Cymbalta is technically a sedative - and there was some weight gain as well.

I'm scheduled to be weaned off of Cymbalta starting later this month and go three months without medication, per my doctor's plan of attack. I only hope I don't completely fall back to the way I was: I'd rather not have to be on medication for the rest of my life.
TMose518 TMose518
31-35, M
Dec 5, 2012