Face Picking

my names lindsey im 17 years old.When i was younger, i had flawless skin and even when i had a pimple or 2 it didnt phase me. when i reached 8th grade i began to wear pounds of makeup which was probably the cause of my skin breaking out so much, i went to a dermo january 2008 and they gave me face creams that later on cleared my face up and i was feeling better than ever... september 2008 came around and i began to break out again... i started to pop every single one that appered on my face... whethor it was ready or not. it caused me to pinch into my skin so much that the little pimple turned into a huge burning cut... i didnt mind though, i felt relived and convinced it was going to heal faster rather than having a huge ugly pimple on my face. by october 2008 my face became cut up so badly it was painful to move face face ( opening my mouth wide, smiling etc) i used zit cream on top of zit cream, that didnt work because all the fluids from my face would just pour out. i couldnt beleive what i had done to myself. over the years ive been critized by my peers for everything from my hair down to my feet. Which made me self concious and so obsessed with looking perfect for everyone all of the time. i have long bleach blonde hair,and brown eyes ( i ahte them, i wear blue contacts that ARE perscription). Im obsessed with being tan, having perfect skin, having my hair be in the perfect style and my eye lashes CANNOT clump together or i go insane. i feel so selfish, i know much worse other things could go wrong for me, but i this just sucks so badly i feel so much anger and hate towards myself when those few things arent the way i want them. Ive been continuing to pick my face... ill tell myself i wont.. but i always do. i feel like i search for imperfections untill i usually end up making one... thinking its making everything better. i dont want to be called crazy.. im embarassed to tell my boyfriend or my family. even though they must notice that there is a problem.
lindsh0lup lindsh0lup
18-21
3 Responses Jul 13, 2010

Hey Lindsey, just wanted to let you know that I feel really similar to you, and maybe my advice could help you. I started picking at the same age, my skin was perfect, and I was a perfectionist. I was made fun of at times, and I felt for a long time like I had to change myself. In the last few years, I'm 21 now, I started to let go of what other people thought of me. This is such a big step, and everyone does it at their own pace, but I really think that you will get there. Telling someone about your habit can be a really good step that gets rid of the pressure to tell someone, and makes you feel like you're not on your own! Maybe a good person to tell is a therapist. You might be nervous that you'll feel embarrassed, but you're not going to be judged or told you're selfish, you will get some support and help. We're all here to support each other too!

i know that they notice, my family knows im obsessive about my face. my boyfriend too, but i know he probably wonders why i have to tear it up like i do... ugh

My immediate reaction is "Don't be embarrassed to tell them." Of course it's not that easy, but maybe think about how they might react. They'll likely be supportive and proud of you for opening up.