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Dermatillomania Diary 1

I have had dermatillomania for about 2 years now. I have had anxiety in the past and always bite my nails. People sharing on here talk about "triggers". I guess what set me off was after I went on a trip to las vegas, I came home with some debt and two weeks later, my dad had a heart attack, he was not able to work for over a year. My mom is also blind and i have a 15 yr old brother who is suffering from acute anxiety. I took a promotion at work that I was not personally ready for to pay the bills but I am drowning in debt. I find myself staying up late stressing and crunching numbers, while I do this I pick. I started with my face, picking at small zits(i have acne prone skin). I would turn them into giant scabs, that are impossible to cover up. I have caused so many scars on my face, but recently i have started to stop picking on my face and they have healed. It feels awesome to go out with only some light concealer for the scars. now i have moved to my right(just the right) and sometimes my chest. Now Iam ashamed to wear short sleeve tops , and after i pick, my arms burn and the wounds that I have made take weeks to go away. I hope that I can find a way or another outlet for my stress. Iam totally over this condition, and I just want to feel normal. At least Iam not alone, that makes me feel better.
brightlining brightlining 22-25 Jun 17, 2012

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