20 Years Of Dermatillomania

I found out about two years ago that my little “habit” wasn’t just a habit. When I found out it had a name, I was elated. I’ve been dealing with derma since I was 5 years old, and now I’m 24. To know that there are others out there like me has saved my life. I’ve lived with this shame and pain for so long. Like I said, it started when I was 5. I came home from school one day with lice. When I lay in bed at night I would run my fingers through my hair to find the lice, and then I’d pop them with my fingers. It was a rush to find them; I felt I was making a difference; even though I clearly wasn’t. When we treated the lice, the urge to search my head still lingered. I started to “scratch” soon after that. By the time I was 13, I was a full blown picker. Any imperfection on my scalp, fingers, arms or back, it was fair game. In college I became a psychology major, and later went on to get my master’s degree. When I took “abnormal” psychology, I never thought I’d fit any of those diagnoses. My live in boyfriend of 6 years never even found out that I skin picked. I would do it at night after he had fallen asleep, or when I was in the other room. I realized that I’m 4 months away from having this disorder for 20 years. I really want to stop, but CBT isn’t for me. I’ve had some success with SSRIs, but they don’t help with my depression so it’s not worth their side effects to keep taking them. This is my first attempt at talking to others about it, so, here I go…
eltigrees eltigrees
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

Hello,

I am trying to talk to others too. I have only had derma for 5 years and I need to stop but I didn't want to try doctors, drugs or therapy.