This Is Driving Me Nuts Now :(

Five years. Five stupid years. Five years of wasted hours. Five years of covering up. Five years of actually getting a kick out of it, until now.....

I have genuinely had enough of this ****!!!

I am compulsive by nature but do not have OCD.

Five years ago I got badly bitten by mosquitos and for some unknown reason started to pick furiously and have never stopped. I still have some scabs remaining that I toy with.

So, right now (and I am by no means covered) I have about 20 patches on the go.

I get an adrenaline high when I feel something to pick.

My kit consists of:-

Fingers, tweezers, antiseptic cream, plasters and a mirror. It is a cycle that never ends. Pick, smother myself in cream and cover in plasters. I spend about 2 hours a day at it and often when I am picking at my body parts do so in a trance. My face is a different matter and requires a mirror.

Anyways, I am going to stop. One patch at a time. As I write, the scab on my chin (2 years old) has not been picked for 24 hours. I have played with it and toyed with it but NOT picked. It has been hell. I am shouting at myself and flexing and making fists with my hands. The adrenaline is pumping and I cannot stop tracing the bumpy surface. From time to time my skin reacts to plasters and today it is, so no covering up!!

That's enough, just needed to vent

Thank you
Bobscrattchet Bobscrattchet
41-45, F
Jan 11, 2013